Chapter 1

Meaty palms grabbed the scrawny white ass, balls slapped against Elvish flanks. Breaths puffed in the cold, making tiny steamy reindeers that galloped weakly towards the barn door but then melded with the North Pole wind which howled and sneaked through the little nicks and corners of structure.

“We can’t carry..ahh…on like this….Santa” Frank’s voice broke the pleasure trot Santa’s big dick was performing in his arse.

Santa reached over and grabbed Frank’s swollen dick and muttered “I know how you feel Frank, we can’t carry on like this, we need women around here.”

Frank gulped and tried to speak up despite being drowned in the vortex of pleasure “Every year on Christmas Eve you get the chance to fuck a woman but you seem to pass the chance. You have been passing it for hundreds of years.”

Santa grunted and pulled out of Frank’s little crack. He picked up Frank’s five feet body, held it up and put his elfish dick in his mouth and gave it a hard suck. Frank felt a hot rod of pleasure course through his balls and brand his body with pulsing sparks of unfulfilled desire.

He was addicted to the big fat man. His lips were magical more like cursed actually. One peck from those ripe red lips could turn that person into a Santa sex starved creature.

Adjusting his tights over his cherry underwear he spoke over his shoulder to the big hulk who was stuffing his twelve inch dick back into his pants “You’ve been using me as your fuck puppy for over four hundred years. You have to come out of the barn so to speak.”

The white giant knelt down and gently pulled the elf’s green pant up and said “The closet you mean.”

Frank rolled his eyes and replied “ It isn’t about sex , its about doing the right thing.”

St Lawrence smiled wryly, “A bisexual Santa Clause? The Christian world would rock on it heels.”

Frank hugged his lover’s girth as they walked out of the barn toward the toy sweat shop and laughed “It will be just another grouse against you. The probability of you losing your Coca-la contract would be 99.9% along with thousands of legal notices that would restrict you from approaching Christian homes with kids. You would lose all this.”

He pointed towards the huge factory that was producing massive black smoke from its chimney and dumping toxic wastes into the ocean, then shrugged and continued “But it wouldn’t be all that bad. You would be an instant hit in the rainbow quarters. Imagine a bloody Mary in one hand and naked butts lined next to you to spill your seeds in whenever , where ever you’d want.”

Santa barked a loud laugh and opened the Factory door where the elves were working at a frantic pace.

He gently pushed Frank in replied “Not a bad idea. Maybe for Christmas I should ask Santa for Angelina Jolie in one stocking and Brad Pitt in another. Oh, wait a minute I am Santa; a man far more popular than Jesus himself. Why would I want to give that up? Bad idea,  Frank, too much to loose. I rather fuck your ass for eternity if you don’t mind.”

With that he closed the door on Frank’s smirking face, light a cigar, belched and decided go back to his cabin and spend a quiet evening watching porn.

Chapter 2

Alisha pushed an errant strawberry colored tendril off her face. The hum of a silent office grated her nerves. Taking a sip of her hot coffee she stared at the piles of files moodily. Her boss Mark had been acting like a SOB ever since she had refused his advances. He couldn’t believe that a nobody like her could reject a handsome executive like him.

That was a month ago and he still kept giving her extra work, needling her privately but praising her in public. That was his way of ensuring against a sexual harassment lawsuit.

Sighing she took off her glasses and pinched the bridge of her nose and picked up the snow globe and watched the tiny flakes fall on a tiny cabin. It had been over three years since she had taken a vacation.

“Ole Senora, working late again?” Alisha looked up and smiled the cleaning lady. Maryanne and she had become friends as they got to see each other just about every night. Initially they had smiled at each other and gotten back to their work- Alisha to her darn files and Maryanne to her vacuum cleaner.

On the fourth night of working late Alisha offered her a choice between a muffin and cigarettes.

Maryanne had eagerly accepted the latter and they both had felt naughty smoking at her cubical. It was an act which would have had them both thrown out on their ample butts if they had been caught smoking within the office building during work hours.

“Got any more cigarettes?” Maryanne asked her hopefully.

Alisha dug into her purse and pulled out a packet of Marlboros.  

Taking a cigarette from Alisha Maryanne asked “Do you have a taser in there?”

Alisha looked at down at  her frumpy mud colored bag that was lying liply against the leg of her chair and laughed “I have everything in there except a knife, taser etc.”

Maryanne sighed and shook her head “A beautiful senora like you should be careful. This city is full of gamberros. I carry a taser in my bag all the time.”

Alisha coughed out the smoke and was teary eyed “Beautiful? Who me? I’m plainer than a church mouse.  No wait -I’m a plain, fat tabby cat.”

Maryanne frowned at Alisha and pulled the clip off her hair. The cascading mass of liquid amber surrounded her heart –shaped face and emphasized her big brown eyes.

There, you see? If you would keep your hair open and wear some contacts you would be a beauty. Also open up few of those buttons on your blouse, Chiquita, let the world peek in a little”

Alisha felt her spirits rise. Maryanne was always fun to talk to “Open up my buttons? Maryanne, do you see those files which seem to keep mounting instead of descending? They are there because I refused to become my boss’s lunch break.”

“Food? he wanted you to get lunch for him?” Maryanne looked puzzled.

Alisha started to laugh “No, honey, he wanted me to be lunch.”

“You to be…Oh ! that nasty man. You should have given him something to remember.”

Alisha twisted her cigarette butt in a plastic cup and replied “Oh I gave him something to remember – right on his tinsy winsy little jewels.”

Maryanne let out a hearty laugh that had Alisha grinning from ear to ear. She was too intelligent to be a cleaning lady. She had curves that refused to be disciplined by a pink cleaning uniform. In the looks department she could be considered to be above average but her sparkling eyes and sex appeal had men eating out of her hand. Well, at least that is what she let Alisha know

Despite being a single mother of three teenagers she always wore delicate lingerie and reeked of cheap perfume.

‘You never know when you might hit the jackpot. Some millionaire might be working late and may take shiner at me’ She let Alisha know with a wink as she had dusted the tidy little cubicle.

Her luscious lips and jauntily placed cap could make her the fantasy of any hot blooded man.

Alisha felt a few twinges of envy; here was a woman living in project homes, trying to provide a good home to her kids single handedly and still had a positive outlook towards life and she on the other hand had no problems what so ever and yet getting more and more morose.

Taking a drag she shook her head. She always became depressed during Christmas. No friends or family to go back to and be holly and jolly with. No boyfriend to kiss under the mistletoe.

All she had was a tabby cat, Christopher, to go back home to. She knew how she would be spending Christmas Eve- smokes, chocolates and porn. Her calorie ridden backside already testified to the level of depression she had sunk under.

“I have to go. The restrooms won’t clean themselves. Sometimes I wonder whether I did the right thing by jumping into Juan’s car. I wouldn’t have gotten pregnant, left school and become a toilet cleaner” Maryanne smirked.

Alisha shook her head sympathetically and moved aside to let Maryanne and her trolley to pass through.


Chapter 3

Maryanne stared at the brown turd that was floating in the toilet.

“You will be the fourth to go down you evil piece of shit!” She pulled out her plunger and rammed it down the toilet bowl.

Pulling the flush she wondered how her life had come to flushing down other people’s leavings. She had been an average student, a good Christian daughter, then the hormones had kicked in and she had strayed thanks to the tight buns that Juan had sported.

Sighing, she pulled off the latex gloves and gently exercised her neck muscles. It was time to go home – time to go back to her babies. Her apple cheeked kids who would already be in bed and will miss their mama yet again. That was the price she paid for working two jobs and as her mother put it not keeping the two men away from her legs.

She could have given a piece of her mind to her mother but a doting grandmother for a baby sitter and having a roof over her children’s head kept her quiet whenever her mother went off on her ‘where did I go wrong rants’.

Laughing dryly she blessed her mother for taking her family  in and despite the verbal ranting leaving a warm coat and slippers on the couch for her to slip into when she returned home.

At least she had a family to go back to unlike Alisha. She had wondered whether to invite her over for Christmas but wasn’t sure how Alisha would respond. Spending Christmas with the janitor’s family couldn’t be all that exciting.


But Alisha had looked so forlorn that her heart had melted. Taking a deep breath she decided to invite her for Christmas dinner.

Walking down the aisle that lit up a step before her, she rehearsed her lines.

“Senora, since you don’t seem to be doing much this Christmas would you like to come over? No, I can’t say that…” She straightened her back and patted her hair and muttered “Why am I worried? Its not a date.” But her heart began to pump faster and her mouth felt dry.

Her palms felt sweaty, mouth went dry.

‘She hadn’t felt like this since she asked her first husband Juan out. That SOB deserved thousands deaths and million plagues and his putta-’ her thoughts were interrupted when she found the cubicle to be empty.

Relief coursed through her body. Alisha had gone home. She would invite her tomorrow.

Taking the taser out of her bag she went down the elevators. Though the office building was in an up market area but she still felt unsafe in the empty parking lot. The lighting was kind of low and there was too much greenery hugging the parking area where anti-social elements could hang around.

As she stepped out of the heavy doors she heard a scream. Her first instinct was to run back into the safety of the building but the cry sounded familiar. Realization dawned; fear stung her senses – Alisha!

Maryanne ran towards a rusty old Cadillac where two beefy men were shoving a screaming kicking Alisha into the trunk of the car.

“Stop” she screamed “Somebody help us” she panted but they were nearly half a block away.

One of the men turned and stared at her. He said something to his partner and began to run towards her.

Realizing the danger she was in , Maryanne ran back to her building and fumbled with the entry card that was hanging on her neck.

“Please Jesus” she muttered and with trembling fingers she opened the door as the light turned green and let herself in.

The thug smashed against the closed door. His green eyes burned into her soul. His sock covered face looked distorted and his monstrous hulky six foot frame continued to threaten Maryanne despite the security of the fortified door between them.

He banged against the door hard –once , twice and then pulled the sock half way till his lips and mouthed “You are next.”

Maryanne stared like a mesmerized rabbit in front of hungry fox. She couldn’t move away even though the hulk had left. ‘Alisha’, she thought ‘Oh lord, my poor dear.’

She ran towards the empty booth where the security guard sat during day time.

“911” she kept muttering to herself as she punched the numbers-

“Hello- please, please you have to help me…” she shouted into the phone

“Madam, where are you?” a calm voice replied.