« February 2006 | Main | April 2006 »

March 31, 2006

Nepal Supreme Court Says Infertile Women Aren't Damaged Goods

Women in Nepal can finally breathe in the sweet smell of gradual emancipation.

Last year, on the 15th of September the Nepal Supreme Court demanded that the custom of shunting women to the cow sheds during their menstrual period as practiced in Western Nepal be done away with.

Recently they ruled that the law where men were given legitimate grounds to seek divorce on the grounds of Infertility be scrapped

While the laws of the land may be slowly working in favor of granting women equal rights, what is of equal importance is bringing awareness amongst the poor villages in Nepal where women are treated as second class citizens.

At the same time, the concept of women being dirty during their periods is a myth that continues to prevail not only in Nepal but also in India too. Women are not supposed to visit their puja rooms, temples, some continue to be barred from entering their kitchens and others while allowed to do all the above (except visiting the temples) continue to believe that they should not touch pickle jars when they are chuming.

These seemingly innocuous myths continue to thrive even amongst the educated urban Indians.

It is to our disadvantage that we, as women buy into these archaic myths of impurity whereas menstrual days are signs of womanhood and should be celebrated with gusto as is done in certain matriarchal cultures where celebrations are held when a young girl starts menstruating.

What is ironical here is that women are shunted for the very mechanism that carries the name of the family forward and despite advances in science many face the wrath for being ‘infertile’ or for producing girls.

And in these two countries where the worship of female deities is popular to treat their human reflection smells of mendacity and cowardice. These shackles of obsolete traditions can only be broken by women themselves, after all there is much truth to the saying – A woman’s is another’s biggest enemy.’

Many women buy into these fallacies and are more strict in the enforcement of these customs and laws than men or conspire along with them.

We need to empower our weaker sisters to say No and to help those in places of power like mothers and mother- in laws empower and support their daughters and daughter in laws.

Whether it be a bold action of visiting the temple while menstruating or not letting the male members switch channels when a sanitary napkin or tampon ad comes we all can bring about a change in thinking bit by bit by being more vocal within our own homes and communities.


Me Time Or Idle Time?

Recently I did a post on wanting some me time and left a few 'me time' comments on a blogpost on Blogcritics.org by Dawn Olsen which I will talk about tomorrow since its middle of the night and I really should not be up after travelling in a smelly van for over six hours...okay I just lost my own thought!

Not really...to get back to the initial point I was making -my whining about 'me time' didnt make me feel better...I still felt that I was missing something....its wasnt 'me time' that I wanted but something else...what the hell was it?

And then at exaclty midnight my RSS feed gave me a quote that said it all:

"Idleness is not doing nothing. Idleness is being free to do anything."

- Floyd Dell

I didnt want time to do something for myself I wanted time to stare at the ceiling and let wheels of my mind rust, my body become lathargic and just be still for a while. I would have the choice to make use of the time but I would just let those hours tick by ever so silently

Yeah I know I can be still when I die. Parita is due for her shots tomorrow and my asstr readers are clamouring for the next Chapter of Cupid's Kiss and another lot of characters have taken over my mind and want to be penned.

Yup, sweet relief will only descend when I am lying stone cold in a pyre of sandle wood (I know...not envirornmentally conscious of me but dont take me to literally just playing with words to hold your attention as James Frey would say)

March 30, 2006

A Brave Homosexual Prince of India

The repercussions of stepping out the closet are immense but more so if you are a prince from a small principality in India. Nitin Karani talked about Manavendra Singh Gohil who braved the wrath of his entire clan, went beyond the threat of disinheritence and decided to be true to himself.

Nitin continues to give us useful information on the pioneering efforts of the gay community of India, their fight for equal rights, social acceptence, awareness about HIVand community support for those living under pressure.

While the efforts of these individuals may seem small and insignificant to majority of conservative Indians yet these are exciting times for most of us who are seeing history in making where modern Indian gays and lesbians are demanding their birth right- to be accepted by their families, society and state.

March 29, 2006

Engaged in Forbidden Sleepy Coversations

I am a nasty woman. My husband was talking in his sleep and I held a good two minute conversation with him. Since it was work related I couldnt make much sense of it but I thoroughly enjoyed engaging his sleeping talking self.

I did this once to a friend of mine at a sleep over. After we talked about the things she was dreaming about I gently asked her to move and she moved. I was surprised and asked her to move a little more. In her sleep she shifted closer to the edge and when I asked her to move again she tumbled off the bed and landed on her rump.

I know I will suffer in hell for this but who can resist a sleep talker?

Irritable Male Syndrome: A Male Version Of PMS?

Recently it came to my notice that there are men do not know what IMS is all about. Initially in a bout of ‘now I have got you men’ attitude I rubbed my hands gleefully and decided to make a satire post on the issue. But then after a minute of reflection I realized that I would be no different from those sexist men who tarnish all women with PMS problems and say that men with 'attitude' suffer from IMS.

Just like PMS, IMS or Irritable Male Syndrome is no laughing matter. A grumpy man flipping channels, stone walling his wife or worse snapping at her house keeping might be feeling a shift in his hormones.

What men have hormones? Most men think that shifting levels of hormones is something that only women suffer from but facts show other wise. Men are equally prone to depression, high stress levels and mood swings.

The old traditional approach of ‘being a man’ and holding back ones feelings causes many men to implode where a seemingly regular feeling of blues slides into manic depression sometimes even leading to suicide.

Male menopause according to Jed Diamond is real and could well be reasons for marriages becoming rocky when men have 'midlife crisis' but at the same time it is a process that could hit even at puberty.

Some people might consider this whole analysis of the midlife crisis to be hogwash and tell a man to be a man and deal with his ‘manly’ problems be they work related or general blues but common sense demands that we as human beings find healthy outlets to deal with our mental or emotional issues just as we deal with any sickness that ails the body.

Cracking jokes about IMS as most macho men do for PMS would further make a man suffering from depression or having some sort of testosterone driven problems feel less of a man.

At the end of the day we need to look beyond Gender Wars or the tit for tat attitude and deal with emotional issues with compassion and wisdom. Men are not from Mars and Women from Venus. We all suffer from depression, frustrations and stress. The only difference is that women express their emotions where as men have been taught to suffer in silence and tend to become more lonely.

Could that itself be reason why women tend to lead longer lives than men?


March 28, 2006

Who Am I?

Today when I stepped out of our hotel room which is in the heart of bustling Chicago I seemed to be the only woman pushing a stroller and dragging a toddler by hand. Lots of smiles came my way, Parita was singing despite the cold and Aayan was talking none stop about the trains, trucks, taxis and pigeons but I felt a little out of place.

I was surrounded by glamourous, working women, some talking into their Black berries, others walking past me in a brisk pace with their Prada purses tucked under their arms. I on the other hand looked like a harried mom without any make up, untidy hair and a shirt that had a big pureed carrot stain on it.

How had things come to this? I wondered as I wistfully stared at my successful sisters. There was a time when I was one of them. I had a career going, surplus money to spend in nightclubs and was very fashion conscious.

Now the only thing that I am conscious about is the smell of the dirty diaper in my bathroom or my three year old going on a food strike.

Sure, I know all about the two income trap, that we as a family are actually saving more by me being the mommy, nanny and maid all round into one but I sure do miss the times when all I thought about was me.

People have told me time and time again that once the kids start going to school I will be able to devote time to myself. But its my present that worries me as I need some breathing space now. The kids are getting on my nerves and there is another impending move around the corner.

Don't know how long I can let myself run ragged and lose bits and pieces of myself. I need time and space to be the old me.

March 27, 2006

Revenge Of A Choco Belly

Hershey Van.jpg

Life is all about choices and living with the ones that we make. Yesterday we went to the Hershey's Chocolate Factory at the Magnificent Mile and brought tons of chocolates. Today, I found myself hogging Hesshey's kisses like a stinkin' hog and now have a uncomfortable belly and a guilt ridden conscious.

Gawd, I'm not used to sweets and now I feel like puking.....this isnt the way I pictured my trip to be. I was supposed to be a hep mom painting the town pink instead I am a mom making bad food choices, dreading the cold and having an upset tummy

Hungry In A Dirty Hotel Room

The temperature, here in Chicago is currently a mild 44 degrees Fahrenheit but it’s the wind chill that deters the kids and me from staying out for more than a hour and then its back to being holed up in the hotel room till Aaman returns later in the evening.

We walked a few blocks with Parita in her stroller, cribbing about the wind chill and Aayan and I on foot. First we visited Mc Donald to get Aayan some chicken nuggets, yes, I know he should not eat that crap but we are on a holiday, then we walked around a few more blocks, walked into Borders and walked out of Borders with the eight month old wailing on top of her baby lungs.

Aayan had fun running down pigeons and crossing lights but I became cranky. I didn’t want to go back to my dirty room (I had a gut feeling the maid would not have cleaned the room despite it being late in the afternoon and so it was) and then staring at Dora The Explorer wriggle with her pet monkey.

I continue to remain hungry. Don’t want to eat greasy sandwiches, limp salads or bland noodles. I’m sick of food and yet I am so hungry.

But I’m still glad to be out of the little hick town called Miamisburg, Ohio. Chicago with its high rises, billions of restaurants and thriving, bustling humanity happens to be my favorite city.

Food may cheer me up along with a clean room.

No HBO

I am currently staying in one of the best hotels of Chicago courtsey Aaman being here at work but they don't have HBO or Fox. I'm feeling all flabbergasted. Its as if I have been given a chocolate shake without the whipped cream and straw or a great chinese cruisine with limp chow mien.

Its Sunday night and I will not get to watch Tony Soprano lying in a coma or Jack Bauer running around in 24. What kind of a hotel is this? Its got the fluffy robes, little shampoos, jet showers, marbled sunken tubs with those brass taps but no HBO!

My weekend is ruined!

March 25, 2006

Secrets Of A Darkened Heart

Neither sex nor the previous night's drinking binge were the proximate causes for her to pick up perfect strangers from perfectly innocuous bars. It was never about preferences - short, fat, tall, bald or downright ugly suited her just fine. All she needed was a body to lie with, to let those few breaths of pleasure replace the memories that tormented her every waking moment.

Getting up softly from the bed, she turned and looked at the rumpled sheets and the man snoring under them. Her eyes trailed his bronze arm down to the fingers that held a fistful of sheets. They had been clever fingers searching all her nooks and crannies, finding spots that had made her give in to moments so sweet that she could have wept with relief. He had made her forget the demons that had darkened her soul's doorstep.

Now in the harsh glare of the morning sun, she knew this was not another flash in the gathering dark, leaving her cold. Although he was different from all the rest, she could not let him close. It would be too dangerous. Wearing her clothes softly, she let her eyes trail over his dark beauty one last time.

He carried his African heritage with a bold imprint. Curly dark hair fell carelessly over a high forehead, thick lashes swept down his high cheekbones covering eyes that she knew to be mischievous amber. His lips hid sharp, sparkling white teeth. He smiled as he slept, dreaming perhaps of the night before.

He had made her laugh and feel some inkling of her former self in that dingy little bar, surrounded by mortal hearts and evanescent emotions. She had laughed, so close to tears, so close to letting the hollow gaping wound surface and sweep her away in a wave of inexpressible rage. She had then looked into his eyes with quiet desperation and asked him to take her home.

Silence had blanketed the distance between their close bodies and she had held her breath as he made up his mind. She could tell he wasn't the kind of man who would screw around at the spur of the moment especially with someone like her.

Shaking her head, she had begun to slide off the stool when he had taken her hand in a gentle hold and kissed it. That had been her undoing and tears had spilled down her satiny cheeks.

He had tipped her chin and stared into her sad eyes and in his gaze she found a reciprocating pain that he had hidden behind a playful façade.

Together they had left the bar. Not a word had passed between them as he drove them back to his hotel room. They had undressed each other in silence and then loved each other with such feverish pitch that made words seem unnecessary. She had clawed his back and held him close wanting him to feel her pain just for a few seconds, to curl up under his skin and breathe easy as if nothing bad had ever happened in her life.

Yet it had happened. Her peaceful world, with its picket fences and rose bushes, had crumbled. There had been nothing left of her loved ones except telltale signs on the corpses. Signs that told her that they had caught up with her and they had left their calling card - the little pinpricks on the necks of her human husband and her two little ones, children the council had considered abominations.

She had grieved and raged like a rabid animal. Anger had made the blood thirst uncontrollable and she had gone on a feeding frenzy. She had taken them down like cattle; she had turned from a guardian to a predator. They had screamed for mercy on bended knees but to no avail. Her mindless grief had exacted its revenge on the innocent till she could no longer suffer the sight of blood any more.

It was then that sanity had finally lifted the curtain of madness off her eyes and she had recoiled in horror. They had proven that she was no different than them. She was a vampire just like her brethren and her love for humanity was a farce she could not hide behind. Yet she loved her victims as much as she loved her own children. She loved them for their mortality, for their casual acceptance of the dark, and for their quotidian lives, so unlike her own.

And then she had begun to run. She had run from the devastation she had caused and from her brethren, who pursued her to bring her to justice ordained by the council. They had no such affection for their prey. Being a day walker, she had eluded them till now but justice was meted out to her nonetheless by the souls of those she had inadvertently killed by loving them or by her mad rampage.

But now he had finally caught up with her. Five years later, here he was, sleeping in a bed that held her scent. A day walker like her, he was part human and part vampire and yet he was so far away from her. She could not let him near.

It was time to move on. If he was able to find her, so would they sooner or later.

She wore her red sandals and began to tiptoe out of the room when his voice stopped her.

"Planning to run away again, are you sweetheart?" his deep baritone made her close her eyes.

March 24, 2006

Naked Car Wash

naked car wash.jpg

I'm all for cute tushes and all but stupidty sure is a turn off- soapy water, naked body standing on a chair...recipe for disaster.

March 23, 2006

An Enlightened Nun

enlightened nun.jpg

Having been around nuns most of my life one thing I can vouch for is their sense of humor.

Sister Juila cracked this joke when we had hymn rehearsels for Xmas

The hymn sheets were passed around and teachers began to titter and giggle.

I stared at the paper - words swam before my eyes and i could see nothing wrong.

I whispered to Sister Julia "Whats everyone laughing about?"

She raised an old eyebrow "Can't you see it?"

"I'm too tired. End of the day and all..."

She patted my shoulder and responded by pointing at a word on the sheet and said loudly "Now that is something you would put to better use than me."

I grinned - The word was Hymen


March 22, 2006

Parita Is Sick

Parita is sick. She seems to have caught the flu I was suffering from last week. Low grade temperature, body ache, cough, cold and keeps throwing up. Between Pedealite and tears I have gone mad. Having gone through the whole lousy flu I know how bad it must be for an eight month old baby but she has been crying and throwing up on me since morning.

I smell of sour milk and puke. I'm hoping she would be feeling better by tomorrow or day after. Sunday we are supposed to be driving to Chicago but it all depends on Parita's health.

Peace Keepers

international-peace.jpg

Parita

dsc01873.jpg

March 21, 2006

Duck-ies on Our Porch


Do not feed the community birds- now that is a sign that our apartment people should put up. Today a pair of ducks waddled into our front porch and I did the stupid thing that one shouldnt do- I fed them.

They liked the bread, Aayan liked the company of our new feathered friends and I got to take some cute pictures of duck-ies in the snow. But now at six in the evening the ducks are still parked on our porch. They are standing close to the glass door, peering in hungrily and getting on my nerves with all the duck-ie yellow pooh spoiling my clean porch.

Maybe, I should let Aayan out to shoo them but its cold and snowing and the duckies might still be hungry....heh....I know, stop feeding them, stupid!

March 19, 2006

Will You Love Me - Bones And All?

Egyptian goddess.jpg

Necrophila has been a topic that I could never bring myself to write about. Can't imagine a voluptous beauty banging a bag of bones.

Something darn sinister and yet compelling about this painting.

March 18, 2006

Women : Amazons Of Future

"At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situations which a man, if he is lucky, manages to achieve somewhere in the later seventies."
- PG Wodehouse

Another way of interpreting it could be - At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and ability to manipulate difficult situations which a man, if he is lucky, manages to achieve somewhere in the later seventies.

Just a survival gene passed down thanks to centuries of subjugation. Just may bite humanity in the arse....the rise of mean, sexy amazons....sinewy beauties ruling the corporate world, making men their sex bitches, tied to bed, trippin' on torrid sex, viagra and in moments of lucid cosciousness have them bemoaning the era passed when they were the rulers and we their hoes....

Gonna fuck with you good, turn the wheel of yin and yang all topsy turvy......suck your cock no longer, no more sweet talk, no more insidious games to be played to rule the roost with a hand in the glove attitude. Its going to world domination. We will bend you, cow you down, break you and build you in our image. A mother, a daughter, a sister, a mutant evil gene striving to make humanity survive in its own image of suppression.

Men, what have you reduced us to? We are you but even more evil in our intent.

Lol.....don't take me seriously ...just groovin on a chilled out evening with my man on a Friday night.

At the end of the day we all are the same ....flesh and bones....no more no less

March 17, 2006

Weird Neighbors

I have weird neighbors. An old foggy fellow offered me a ‘welcome to the community candle’ then proceeded to barge into my apartment to light the candle and the other was an Indian woman landing unannounced on my porch wearing a kaftan and oodles of flashy gold jewelry.

They both seemed a tad loco to me. One was a hulking brute who put the fear of god in me by his rambling words and made me feel uneasy in my pajamas and the other had me embarrassed with her typical Indian attitude of parading around in her night clothes.

I’m not used to strangers landing up on my doorstep and expecting me to let them in.

The old guy seemed a little mentally off and had me standing near the door holding my kids close incase he decided to have his way with me or something. It was scary; he could have grabbed me and that would have been the end of happy sunny Ohio days for Deepti Lamba.

Thankfully, after forty five minutes of disconnected conversation and an apartment smelling of vanilla the old goose left and I breathed a sigh of relief.

The Indian lady like the old man seemed to be hungry for company. I was minding my own business, looking for my kid’s bike and suddenly I heard a heavily accented voice talk about the sunny weather, her kid not having friends and my kid not having friends, play dates, afternoon tea, where was I from etc.

I didn’t want to make polite conversation with her. I didn’t even want to acknowledge her. Needy people carry their excess baggage like unwanted guests; ready to park it on the doors of unsuspecting, soft hearted people.

There is always something wrong in their lives even when things are fine they expect social interaction which a loner like me finds unbearable
.
Some might call me stupid, here I am in a new state with no friends to socialize with and I am bitching about people who forwarded their hands in friendship. Yeah, right - fraternizing with weirdoes isn’t my cup of tea.

I’m neurotically obsessed about my privacy and try to avoid people I generally don’t gel with.

I am all for being good neighbors but that does not include arriving on my doorstep unannounced, barging in or trying to act best of buds just because we belong to the same country.

Johnny Cash - Gypsyman's Views

Most of us have seen the movie - Walk The Line and got a peek into the life of a legend- Johnny Cash. Gypsyman has done an exceptional review on Johnny Cash.


Johnny Cash's black clad figure has been as much a symbol of rugged American individualism as any other man in the last hundred years. Unlike other figures that have let their image be co-opted for various political movements or philosophies, he was never brought into any fold.

March 16, 2006

Drool

Contributed By Revati Laul

“You are so natural when you’re naked.

What happens to you when you put your clothes on huh?”

I’m Sasha and what you just heard is what I decided to play out for you from my head. I re-wound to the time when
I was fucking Pooh Bear. I was desperately in love with him.I was 22 and I thought then, as I do now, that love meant giving yourself entirely to someone. And two fucks in, Pooh said – “I’m so glad we are friends who have this great understanding. That we can have sex sometimes.”

And I felt like the floor had given way from under me, melted and landed on top of my head.
Now, at 73, as I speak to you from inside the hard disk of this computer, I’m typing away, completely naked! My grand kids - Motu and Golu are used to me like this by now.

“There’s naked nani…let’s press her boobs.”

“Chee! No that’s so stupid? I don’t want to be a lesbian.”

“Well I do. My best friend’s mother is a lesbian and she is really cool.” That voice is my little Golu.

Such a lovely child. She’ll probably learn to be mad much faster than me. If she asks, I’ll teach her.

“Whoa…Golu, not so hard. Press gently, see? Nani doesn’t want her nipples to hurt darling!”

There’s her stupid mother. My daughter Malti. Nowshe’s going to take her to the other room and explain to her how Nani is mad. And mad people don’t know what they’re doing. But the rest of us shouldn’t copy them.

Because it’s silly.

What she misses out, the poor dear, is that it’s now, at 73 that I’ve finally got it. I really KNOW what it’s like to let go. To cross whatever boundaries I want to inside the mangled, bright red membranes inside my head. Everyday I uncross a few and mate them with a few others.

Like the electrician who came to fix this comp. today. As he put the red, black and blue wires into the socket, sweat forming at his temples, his face was twisted into such a vicious ball of concentration, I just Had to play with it. So I did a Sharon Stone on him! Dropped my sad white lungi under the table and said – “arre bhaiya, zara woh lungi to uthaiye please.” *

Poor chap, he had to keep his ball of concentration in the middle of his forehead as he saw my shrivelled up fanny and it’s purple pubic hair. Yeah. I keep trying different hair dyes. I flick them from my daughter’s toilet cupboard.

I’ve always been a bit mad you know. But I never really understood what it was to truly embrace that feeling. What I’ve said to you now, I used to say to people when I was twenty and thirty just to shock them.

It’s only now that I’ve understood that mad people are often very intelligent and alive and are making activechoices to jump acrobatically inside their head. I’m now quite a practiced gymnast you know. I can do the uneven bars…that’s my favourite move. When I really trace the strands of voices and consciousness inside my head mid way…I stop their travel midway through their conversations and can repeat verbatim those halfsentences. All quite deliberate.

Like this:

Zis sol buda buda jump kos raaaaaaaaaaaal teet.

And I can even trace where they’re coming from.

Zis sol buda buda is from the front of my brain.

From the spot right behind my furrow lines. I don’t know what signal it is yet, but when I try and see it separately, it’s a funny signal. It makes me laugh without feeling the tickle if you know what I mean. If I press it harder, I can laugh uncontrollably. On andon and on, until I push the button off. Pretty goodna? I won’t tell you what each of those other strands are because I think you’re smart enough to have got the drift of my babble and I won’t bore you any further with the same.

But you know, if I had known the secret code of the inside of my head earlier, I may have still chosen to ignore those signs until now, because it’s a very lonely life – this self awareness. The over dramatic child in me uses the alienation like a toy. Sometimes I scare people with it. At other times I use it to arouse myself by dropping my clothes in front of unsuspecting strangers. It’s become my only interaction with the sane world.

And I often feel the need to retreat into conversations with people from my past. At least they see the real me. They are in my memory bank, so I can control them. Switch them on and off, and have deep, meaningful conversations with them.

You know, when books like Madness and Civilization were written by philosophers like Foucault, people presumed that madness was an uncontrolled unraveling, like drool from a child’s innocent chin. How wrong they all are! Jez! I justwrote how wrong all they are!

I must really be losing it. Ok nani, hold on till you finish this conversation with the world! Your last attempt to tell the world about your grand experiment with truth and everything out there. As I was saying, madness is an art form. It’s the ultimate form of control. To be able to slide in and out – of consciousness, to semi consciousness, the ability to press the pause/still button on the videotape of your life and stop midway, see half frames. It’s the ability to choose to live in half frames instead of whole ones. To be Mendel and cross one half frame with two others in any order you desire. Instead of the order your mind organizes them into, you have the random access code cracked wide open.

But all the rest of the world sees of it are two separate words.

Random. And Access. And they think you’ve unspooled.

This half world between life and death, between living and non-living is magic. It’s also suicidal of course.

But what a death when it will come! To have seen a life slowly phase out and catch it’s last few random strands as they happen! It’s like seeing how the first young leaf steps out of a young stem and unfolds it’s soft, green tongue to taste dew. You can feel the point when the drop is on your green tongue but you haven’t tasted it yet. Between wet and dry is a half moment of complete madness.

The moment, if you’ve pushed yourself to see it’s spliced up, no-sense, garbled form, will ultimately drive to you a point of no-return. It’s suicide for sure. When your brain, having been spied upon and it’s insides exposed, finally gives way and you short circuit.

But for those of you out there who think you know or want to know what life is really like. Try the madness art once before you die.

De golo doo doo boo na fo. De golu de

golo golo o o o o o o.

“Mama. Come quick, I think dirty nani’s died.”

---Revati Laul

March 15, 2006

Popular Sites Running On Limited Budgets

The net is an expansive, overwhelming world that we tend to take for granted. . Many upcoming sites such as asstr.org, blogcritics.org, desicritics.org, etc. become sites most of us habitually visit.

Despite the immense popularity that these sites enjoy most of them have yet to make money. The sites are basically run by people who have day jobs and pay for the sites from their own pockets.

During the earlier dot-com boom people found easy money to fund anything they could dream of. In the Web 2.0 world, a few huge $$$ deals have made other sites believe they could strike it big too. The reality, though is that many struggle to keep the lights on, in the face of growing readership and popularity.

Take for example- Asstr.org, an adult site which is a free, user-supported web-site. There are no banners, AVS, blind-links, pop-ups, or other gimicks designed to pick the reader's pocket. Anyone can submit their erotic stories to the site and people from around the world get to read them.

The site also picks authors who are given space on the asstr serverand the benefit is a vast volume of readership yet to be matched by similar sites; all free of cost.

I had been submitting my erotic stories on Asstr.org sporadically and only recently I was accepted into their coterie of authors and collectors. It was a grand experience and I stood in awe of the vistas the site laid open. My stories were read, bookmarked and I even got feedback.

What more could an aspiring writer want? Well, a little money would be nice but when the site itself is struggling to survive its own popularity on overloaded servers and limited budgets, the authors/writers are generally happy enough with the fact that their stories are reaching the readers and some may even become famous as Kristin.

Last week, however, Asstr.og faced its nemesis. Their servers crashed and the site was down for over a week.The management were quick to inform its authors and collectors of the problems they were facing, which were compounded by limited funds. Here is the mail they sent to all their authors and I'm sure it won't be a problem with them if I share it-

Folks,

At this time we believe our systems have been fixed and everything should be back to normal. If you find anything not working, please let us know.

We are evaluating our options for minimizing this type of problem from reoccurring. The bottom line is the more machines we have, the easier it is to have backup systems in place in the event one of our machines dies. Based
on our experience, periodic system failures are unavoidable, and so by having other computers available that can take over, we can minimize and/or prevent any outages. Of course, whenever one of our systems fails, we work to understand what caused the problem and how we can minimize the chance of a reoccurance.

As funding becomes available to add additional equipment, we will do so.

We encourage our account holders (authors and collectors) to make their site visitors aware that while ASSTR is and will always remain free, unfortunately it takes real money to provide our services (particularly reliable services).
...
We appreciate everyone's patience and support. Please let us know if we
can be of further assistance.

- Rey del Sexo


In the modern always-connected world, it looks like websites are expected to go beyond 99.999% availability and reliability in the service of their readers. We tend to take freebies for granted but can't do without them in this new connected world. Asstr.org happens to be one of my favorite sites as it supports freedom of speech and provides me with a community of authors and readers who enjoy erotica.

What sites could you not bear to live without?

Shelly

The door bell was a shiny golden button that I couldn’t bring myself to press. I wanted her bad; I wasn’t the unfaithful type but we had been having mind sex for so frigging long that I was like a horse sweating and chomping over the bit.

I had to have her despite the fact that she wasn’t much to look at especially when compared to my willowy, Nicole Kidman look alike wife, Shelly. If anything else she had a rather dumpy figure, being a single mother of two had destroyed her figure and given her a few grey hair but she made it up with a sunny temperament and a sharp wit.

My mouth watered as I stared at the bell and willed my finger to press the cold button in. ‘Push it in damn you!’ I muttered to myself but I remained frozen.

Sex with Shelly had always been hot. She was good at giving blow jobs, she knew where to lick, to suck the tip of my dick, to squeeze my balls ever so gently and just when I would be about to come she would release my dick and look up at me with her big china blue eyes and ask “Honey, which of the three holes will it be? The mouth, the cunt or the arse?”

She knew this line would get me off faster than a red hot engine steaming down the tracks. I would grab her by her butt, spread her legs and ram into her sure and hard with her cries of delight ringing in my ears till we both would come together.

I would then go down on her and suck the nub till it ran some more juices, made her thighs tremble and perked her nipples up to be fondled by her swift fingers.

Curling her thighs around my neck, Shelly would grab my head and tell me exactly where to suck and lick. And, as she would quiver and cum the smell of arousal would mingle with the smell of combined juices.

But knowing Shelly as I do, after thirteen years of coupling, she would want more. She would turn and show me her perfect little arse and jiggle it in my face.

“Do you want some more?” She’d purr her stale line

Holding the orbs apart she’s show me her third hole and say invitingly “Its yours to take big man”

My dick would respond with a slight rise. The suggestion would revive its ailing spirits and I would grab her biggest 16 inch dildo, lick her hole to make it lubricant enough and slowly push it in.

Leaning against the satin sheets she would close her eyes and moan through her perfectly rounded red mouth.

In slow but hard movements I’d move the dildo in and out and watch her butt grind its aroused rhythm and just as she would be about to cum I would ram by big boy into her rough and cruel and bit her neck as she would clutch the wood of the headboard and cum for the last time.

As I said before, sex with Shelly was way beyond awesome. Squirting in her tight little cunt was the only highlight of our marriage.

Wiping my sweaty hand against my jeans I again caressed the smooth surface of the button and wondered if I was doing the right thing. Shelly, after all was my wife and the sex was good but then the after glow left much to be desired.

After the fucking when our breaths became normal, bodies demanded sleep and souls a little cuddle; Shelly would sit up and demonstrate the reason why I married her in the first place- for her twat and not for her fluff of a brain.

She would grab my wilted penis as she always did after sex and talk about her maxed out cards or the new dress she had seen at the mall or a trinket she just had to have. She would hold my muscle hostage in a rather absent minded manner, fiddling with it this and that and not letting go till I gave in to her polite demands.

The vixen probably believed that I found her version of a dominatrix act to be rather creative but it was nothing more than an annoyance that kept sleep at bay.

Twice a week it would be the pattern would repeat it itself, she would whore herself for some extra hundreds or a dress or fur wrap that she would have to have. Apart from that our lives moved on different levels.

I lived in my study writing my latest pulp fiction and she spent her afternoons spending the cash even before it made it to the bank account.

Caressing the frilly design of brass flowers and butterflies over the bell I wondered whether the attraction that Shelly had for me was merely the size of my wallet or the size of my big throbbing boy.

I wasn’t a much of a looker; a plain, skinny guy with hazel eyes, light brown hair and indistinguishable features. But it was my ability to spin words that attracted women, not to mention the lime light that tagged along.

I was so ‘in’ amongst the celebrities that Shelly, the nineties supermodel, had after a week of blow jobs and stained sheets in a hotel room spun me to the altar before I could think beyond my raging libido.

I never had the chance to enjoy my ‘in’ status with other ‘in’ people. I was addicted to Shelly’s pussy and enjoyed the fate of a deluded sex junkie for thirteen fucking years till Lilly came into our lives.

Lilly, Lilly….Liiiiily came knocking on our door, on one fine gloomy day, holding a rum cake and a two look alike tow heads clinging to her tight, faded jeans.

Shelly had let her in. They both had been gracious towards each other. Shelly had smiled at Lilly. She accepted the cake, made polite conversation about the neighborhood, found out that Lilly was a newly divorced wife, dumped for the secretary and the divorce settlement as plump as her butt.

Or so Shelly had told me with a slight smirk on her perfect thin lips as she raised my penis to life that night. Shelly described Lilly as she sheathed my prick with her moistened cave.

A wholesome woman who had let herself go for her children. She wasn’t the skinny type that men now days lust after. Too many curves spilling out of a tight tank top and jeans that did nothing to hide the round paunch that threatened to make a tardy appearance.

Rocking back and forth, Shelly had closed her eyes and as the rhythm picked up she talked about Lilly’s brown hair that fell like a thick curtain over her faded features. Biting her lip, she sucked a breath in and leaned slightly forward and huskily talked about the silky texture of the hair that had streaks of grey running through them.

Shelly wondered why Lilly didn’t color her hair but felt it complimented her personality. She seemed like a woman who favored her brain over her body.

As she quivered and climaxed Shelly breathed that Lilly was more my type of a woman than Shelly was.

It was all Shelly’s fault. She had made me fantasies about our new neighbor even before I had seen her.

And now here I was standing outside Lilly’s door after a week of getting to know her, thinking again with my raging libido driven this time with a woman’s brain and not pussy.

I finally met Lilly three days after her appearance at our doorstep with her gift of friendship.

I had just finished my novel and emerged from my study where I had been holed in over a month.

Stepping out of my house I inhaled in a breath of fresh air and surveyed the rich neighborhood that was quiet most of the times except on that morning when I heard loud laughter come from across the road from the old Victorian run down mansion.

The door banged open and I saw three feet tall, blond red Indians run out of the house with a dog painted red and an irate mother bellowing like a banshee on their heels.

She was a beauty to look at, her hair was in an untidy pony tail, her breasts bounced freely in a tight green tank top and she waved a broom at her kids and screamed all kinds of creative words that just stopped short of being abusive.

The kids laughed and ran into the garden with a red golden retriever and Lilly on their heels.

I couldn’t help but laugh at Lilly’s plight. She had her hands full and yet she seemed to live a far happier life than I did with my silent house and a nymphomaniac, fashion driven wife.

The dog bounded around the mother and children as the mother tried to control the kids. She needed help.

I crossed the road and grabbed the dog by the collar. The mother and her three year old twins fell silent and stared at me.

Three pairs of brown eyes questioned my presence and I felt a little hot under my pajama top’s collar.

“Er…Hi, I’m John.” I waved weakly with my free hand and continued “I live across the street.”

Lilly smiled impishly and replied “Shelly’s husband right?”

I nodded and let the dog go who then barked and began to circle around all four of us.

Lilly grabbed the dog and made introductions “I’m Lilly, these are my two twerps- Patrick and Josh and that rascal of a dog is called G.I”

“G.I ? Not very creative is it now?” I found myself staring into her twinkling brown eyes.

She laughed and replied “The boys love G.I Joe and guns.”

“The dog likes to play rough. He generally is the enemy and tends to defect too fast.”

I laughed. It had been too long since I enjoyed some simple female humor.

“Would you like to come in for a cup of coffee?” She offered over her shoulder as she herded her kids in.

I looked back at my house where Shelly was asleep and thought for a second, it was just a harmless cup of neighborly coffee. I shrugged and replied “Sure.”

As I walked into her shabby mansion I was pleasantly surprised to see stacks of dusty books lined up the hallway, the living room and on the staircase. Wherever I looked I saw books, even the box of cereal was vying for space with Emily Dickson and Tolstoy’s War and Peace.

She smiled in apology and picked the books up.

“Sorry about the mess.” She sang as she went into the living room to put the books on the knee high stack and came back and finished her sentence “This is a book lovers’ home. All three of us are bibliographers.”

It was then that I realized what I had been missing out on. This is how I had wanted my life to be- a homely woman with kids, dog and books; not a hot empty headed wife whose idea of a happy marriage of sex in exchange for money.

She offered me coffee and as I stared into the dark swirling liquid and my marriage looked the same to me- a mass of dark swirling ignorance spent in empty hedonistic delights.

I didn’t want to go back to Shelly; I didn’t want to go back to my empty house and empty marriage.

I wanted to talk about her favorite author and when I felt brave enough to show her my recent drafts.

I wanted to rest my head on her ample bosom and hear her warm heart beat. I wanted some run of the mill, habitual sex followed by a nice cup of coffee and a little reading before we turned in for the night.

I felt old at that moment and wanted all the creature comforts enjoyed by older people. Not pink fluffy slippers or lacy nothings lying carelessly around the house. I wanted Lilly in her worn out tank top, messing hair and her ample butt in a pair of jeans a size too small.

I put my cup of coffee down and made some mundane excuse about having to do the laundry and took my leave. It hurt too much to be around someone I could never have.

She bid me a friendly farewell, told me to tell Shelly to drop by whenever she had the time. I nodded my head but refused to look back. I didn’t want to see the perfect picture of domesticity that she made, standing at the door of a run down mansion looking like a regular woman bidding her man a fond farewell as he left for work.

I wanted her so bad and it was the first time that I had met her.

I walked into our bedroom and watched Shelly sleep. She even slept like a sex bunny. Her pink nipples peeked through the red lace and her mound lay open through the flares of the fancy teddy. I stared at her beauty that still had the power over my libido.

But it was Lilly that I wanted and Shelly the shell. I silently crept into bed with Shelly who sighed, turned and hugged me. I put my hand on her mound and woke her up with pleasure. She parted her legs and I took her hard and fast, thinking about Lilly.

It was the first time I had thought about another woman while I fucked my wife. I boned her hard and came hard. She held me as I bucked against her. Lilly’s carefree laugh still rang in my ears as I caught my breath and quivered against Shelly and it was then that I remembered that Lilly called me Shelly’s husband –John and not John Anderson the big writer.

She had definitely caught my fancy.

Despite the mental differences Shelly and Lilly became good friends. When the Lilly and her kids weren’t eating at our place we were eating at theirs. Lilly cooked a mean meat loaf which she ate with great gusto as did her kids.

Shelly smiled indulgently while she merely pecked at her own food and smiled even more benignly when we discussed the world of books with the after dinner coffee.

She wasn’t a bit jealous; she was after all the pretty one and not Lilly; little did she know of my fixation with her new found friend.

But Lilly knew, she would raise an inquisitive eyebrow when I’d move away if she brushed against me. She even laughed a bit when she caught me staring at her cleavage when she bent in front of me to pick up the dessert plate from the coffee table.

She knew I liked to watch her gardening in her itsy bitsy shorts and tank top early mornings while Lilly slept and she knew who made the silent calls at the middle of the night.

She even took my name and laughed when I spluttered and muttered something about a bad line and hung up.

Lilly, darling Lilly was pressing all the right buttons at all the right times, turning up when Shelly wasn’t there, wearing clothes that showed her naked skin at all the wrong places. She had me rearing like a teenage boy and yet acted all innocent.

Shelly knew nothing of it. Lilly and she would even exchange affectionate hugs, exchanged numbers of their hair stylists and spas like girl friends do and made me feel all the more guilty.

I felt like a scum, a horny, unscrupulous dog for lusting after Shelly’s only friend but was secretly pleased that Lilly was attracted to me too.

But I didn’t have the courage to approach her. I watched her with hungry eyes and wondered if I would ever really get to be with her. Her flirtatious, come hither attitude was driving me crazy but it was hard for me to get some courage in my balls and approach her.

She, however took matters in her own hands and sent me a mail to meet me at her place on Tuesday afternoon when Shelly went to her spa.

And here I was standing in front of her door wondering if I could take the final delicious step and fulfill all my dreams in one sleepy, sultry afternoon.

Taking a deep breath I pressed the button and heard the bell ring somewhere inside and waited.

One minute….two minutes…I looked around and saw a neighbor drive by and wave at me. I weakly waved back….Where was Lilly?

I rang the bell again. But no answer….I pushed the door and was surprised to find it open.

“Anyone there?” I called “Lilly?”

Silence greeted me. I knew the kids were at their play school but where was Lilly?

I walked up the stairs towards her bedroom.

“Lilly?” I knocked at her door and gently opened the door

I gasped. A buck naked Shelly was munching a buck naked Lilly.

“Whaaat?....”I couldn’t finish my sentence. I was too shocked to even register the pleased look that Shelly gave me.

I crossed the road in a daze and found myself sitting on our porch.

What just happened?

I couldn’t comprehend the turn of events. Wasn’t Lilly coming on to me?

As I watched the sun go down, watched Lilly’s kids return home, watched the lights of her house switch on while mine remained in utter gloom I tried to come to terms with what I had seen but none of the explanations made sense.

Time seemed to be of no consequence. I cannot remember how long I sat on the porch. The sprinklers came on and the smell of wet grass assailed my numb senses. Nothing made sense any more.

Across the street the mansion’s door opened and Shelly stepped out. She stared at me from across the road and I looked back. The distance between us had never seemed so painful.

She crossed the road and sat down with me. I couldn’t look at her in the eye. The smell of her perfume mingled with that of the garden and made me realize what I was about to lose- a woman I had been taking for granted for over thirteen years, a woman that I had come to love.

Shelly took my hand in her bony clasp and spoke softly “I know you better than you know yourself John. I was hurt initially. Why wouldn’t I be? I thought we were happily married but then I saw how you craved for Lilly and it broke my heart.”

I tried to speak but she shook her head and I fell silent.

“It wasn’t Lilly who sent you the mail. I did.”

I couldn’t believe her.

“But the message was from her email id.”

Shelly laughed and replied “How hard is it to hack a mother’s email address? The password was Josh, her kid’s name.”

“Lilly had been stringing you along just as I had been stringing her with admiration and sympathy.”

Patting my hand she went on “You see, Jack, Lilly is on a rebound. The divorce is still too fresh and she hates men at this point of her life and I do mean all men which includes you.”

I glared at her and said angrily “So, this was all a game that you and Lilly played to punish me?”

Shelly stared at me for a few minutes and then got up and before going into our home she said “No Jack. It was all me. You thought I wasn’t good enough for you but I wanted to show you that the person you thought was better than me preferred me over you.”

She leaned over and whispered “So, now tell me who is it that you want? Me or Lilly?”
---------------------


The doorbell was all shiny and clean. I was as nervous as a teenage boy on his first date. It was our 40th wedding anniversary and I was going to please her with the biggest rock I could find at the mall; Shelly was still my sex bunny and I was her ever faithful husband.


March 08, 2006

Restaurant Review: Chipotle, The Burrito Of Suburbia

I love burritos. Chicken, beans, rice, sour cream, guacamole and little bit of salsa all wrapped in a steamy tortilla is my idea of a scrumptious meal.

Standing in front of the server with the watering mouth and rumbling tummy my eyes tend to sweep the spread and wonder what else to add to my burrito. How about cilantro or peppers? Or I could be a little more adventurous and try out their chilly sauce and beef instead of chicken? Building one’s own burrito never seemed so much fun.   

Chipotle happens to be my favorite anytime restaurant. Owned by McDonalds, the food is nothing short of awesome, and is reasonably priced to boot. The menu is limited but delicious - Tacos, burritos and salad combined with sauces that vary from mild to dang its spicy make it a meal as filling and nutritious as any big chain restaurants.   

Chipotle has a rather upbeat bistro style decor and generally has long queues of people waiting to get their burritos made; which is why it makes sense to order online.

http://i2.tinypic.com/r01d07.jpg  

Since the website is user friendly and remembers my previous orders I tend to forgive the confirmation call, which is needed because they do not yet offer online payment.  A visual presentation of the menu is available on the website and all one has to do is click on the items that one would like in the burrito or taco as done in the restaurant.   

Once the order is placed, the confirmation call made, the food is ready by the time I reach the restaurant (which is about ten minutes drive from where I stay) and the best part is that I need not stand in the food line but can go straight to the billing counter and pick my food up.    

Though Chipotle has Qdoba as a close rival in terms of being in the same price range and a similar menu yet my taste buds tend to crave spicy Chipotle other than the bland Qdoba  food. The food is filling, the restaurant is clean and a dinner for three costs no more than twenty to twenty-five bucks with drinks included. So, next time when you get the urge to eat Mexican food but are tight on budget try Chipotle and here is another tip - if you happen to go there with kids make sure you carry a spoon. Chipotle carries only forks and knives and my three year old has problems eating rice and beans with a plastic fork.  

March 07, 2006

When Is It Time To Stand Up And Scream

This essay is based on a true incident as told by my friend Rashmi J, who became a mini celebrity for a while in Delhi for standing up for a fellow female passenger on a crowded Redline bus.

Rashmi stared out of the crowded bus with her eyes slightly out of focus. She was staring at the turns and twists that the bus was taking as it neared the bus station she wanted to get off at. She gripped the sweaty pole harder and willed her mind not to think about the hard penis a stranger was pressing against her butt.

She told herself again and again that it would soon be over. If she raised her voice he might do something even worse and no one would come to her aid.

Her bus stop was a just a few kilometers away. "Patience" she told herself and tried to continue hanging on in a bus so crowded that there was hardly any place to breathe much less stand.

"Stop it!" she heard a voice scream with a slight accent.

"Bus rokho(stop the bus)!" a male voice bellowed.

"Bhahan chudh, rokta hai ke nahi (sister fucker, will you stop the bus or not)?" another male voice bellowed coarsely.

Rashmi craned her neck to see what the commotion was all about and her heart sank at what she saw.

A beautiful black girl was being molested by a group of men and no one was stopping them. One man tore her shirt and mauled her breasts, another grabbed her by the hair and yanked her towards the back door.

She was crying and trembling and they were preying on her vulnerability.

"Oye Bhahan chudh bus rokho! Nahi to tujhe bhi nahe chodenge (stop the bus or else we will beat you up too)." One of the fat men screamed a warning at the driver who complied.

The bus pulled over and the men got off the silent bus with the woman.

She screamed and fell on her knees. They dragged her and began to rip her clothes. The people in the bus watched silently. Rashmi watched silently in horror and fear.

The fear in the young woman's eyes mirrored the fear Rashmi smelt in the bus.

No one was going to come to that girl's aid. She was going to be raped in broad daylight in front of more than thirty-odd male passengers.

Anger suddenly gripped her heart.  "How dare they!" she thought and the scream in her mind turned into a warring cry that left her slight frame and she began to struggle against the sweaty bodies that swelled and crushed her.

"Let me through!" she screamed and pushed. "What's wrong with you men? We have to save her!"

She managed to get off the bus and ran towards the predators who were pillaging the innocent.

"Stop it you bastards! Stop it right now!" Fearlessly, she approached them.

They snarled at her and one hulking brute even approached her.

His foul breath fanned her delicate face.

"Tujhe bhi utha lenge. Ja! Bus mai baith(we will grab you too. Go sit in the bus)." He warned her.

Rashmi, a five foot three inch, first year college girl glared back and said, "Fuck off, let her go."

He grabbed her, but by then the passengers from the bus started pouring out and shouted at the men to let the girls be.

They turned and saw men approaching. They tried to run but were caught by the angry crowd. The women covered the victim and comforted her and the men beat up the anti-social elements.

The bus was taken to a police station, a report was written against the men and Rashmi became a hero for all of us and was even featured on the newspaper.

When I asked her what prompted her to do something so brave, she shrugged and replied "It was the right thing to do."

A Man Without His Rightful Harem

Is it okay for married men to gawk at women in front of their wives? Most men would say it's perfectly fine, that it's a 'man' thing to do and would raise self-esteem issues of the beleaguered wife or that she isn't sure of her husband and so on and so forth.

The truth of the matter, however, is that these very same men wouldn't stare at other females when they are out with women they are dating if they have some sort of future plans in mind, knowing if they behaved like repressed teenagers the women would be out of their lives before they could finish say Jack Robinson. Yet, once married, the wolves discard the sheep's clothing and resume drooling and frothing, expecting their partners to take it in stride.

An old gentleman once told me that this sort of behavior is in the genes of men and he talked about society shackling men with an artificial institution called marriage, that men by their very primal nature are bigamists and women should understand that gawking is perfectly natural and we should rise above these petty issues and let them be since that is all that modern society allows them to do.

He compared a woman to a car. According to him, a man could spend hours admiring a BMW or a Porsche, but he would never give up his Ford for these novelty cars.

My answer to this eighty year-old gentleman just stopped short of showing him my middle finger. How dare he compare a woman to a car? I reined in my temper and asked why wouldn't he trade in his dinky, run down Ford for a Porsche? Would it have something to do with the mileage issue? Or for that matter may be he knows that he could never afford to pay for a high-end car much less maintain it?

The old gentleman accused me of nearing my chums or having PMS.

It was then that realization dawned, I had hit the nail on the head. Most men know that they can't afford high maintenance women nor do they want to spend the rest of their lives peddling their souls just to keep these spoilt kittens happy.

They would rather marry the down to earth, family oriented, faithful average gal with the heart of gold.

Does that mean that a guy would be perfectly content with his battered Ford? I think not. A Porsche is a Porsche - the dream of every man - and a car being an inanimate object has no feelings, trading it in therefore would cause no more than a twinge and hopefully men, like us, feel devastated when a relationship hits the rocks.

Thus comparing a woman to a car is not only insulting and demeaning but downright stupid.

Married men generally lead 'happy' suburban lives with their kids, wives and dogs dreaming of hot babes and lost bachelor days when they could have had it all.

Right! Men need a wake-up call. They cannot butter both sides of their bread. Wanting a nice wife to replace their mothers, to nourish them, kiss their boo-boos, have their kids while they dream and leach at other women and tell their partners it's you that I want, it's you I am returning home to, so what are you hee-hawing about?

Wow! We women should feel so honored. The maharaja doesn't want a harem; he wants only me. That thought would surely make any woman's day (smirk)!

It's time women stopped putting up with this sort of behavior. It is because of our pride and indulgence that they have gotten away with acting like boys. It's time we threw them into the doghouse for taking us for granted.

Time to say no to sex the night he takes you out to dinner and leers at a woman sitting at a nearby table, time to leave him dripping by the pool minus his towel and clothes when he spends time staring a goddess in a bikini and time to throw him out of the car when he misses a traffic light staring at a hot pedestrian.

We aren't asking for a lot. We are not telling you to stop feeling your dying, held-back oats or to put blinders next to your eyes. Merely to be wise enough to keep your dick zipped in and tongue rolled in your mouth while you are out with your wives.

After all a Ford that has an unstable gasket is not one you wanna drive, especially when it is all you can afford.

March 06, 2006

Suspended Moments

My asstr website Suspended Moments is up. Though the site is still a fledgling yet the readership has been phenomenal and has left me speechless.

The asstr management did talk about the mass volume of readership but I did not expect it to be approximately 4,0117.

Things That Bang too has also seen a fantastic boost.

Obviously this means more hard work and more creativity.

Thanks for reading.

March 05, 2006

Circus Secret


This is a kinky story about a girl with a fetish for small men. Erotic tales generally evolve around the big boys and I wanted to give the little guys a fighting chance.


Call me crazy but there is something about small men that turn me on like a hot sizzling light bulb.The little bodies are tight bundles of concentrated energies that no regular man can match in bed. Their cocks can't compete with their heights but way surpass their height. (wink) You know what I mean . Nature sure has her ways of compensating.

Summer is obviously my most loved season as the approach of the circus awakens not only the sleepy Texas town I live in, but also my sex drive. The girls on the trapeze , the bulging biceps men pulling chained elephants and the viciously roaring tigers would cause a whole lot of excitement amongst the adults . But for the children and me it's those little guys with round red plush noses and stocky legs that do the trick.

While the little ones squeal with laughter, in the darkness I slowly massage my cunt , saturating my satin panties with sweet smelling moisture. To feel those dicks engorged in my mouth, fucking my cunt and arse would be sweet heaven . The anticipation of raw sex with a dwarf would always put me on a high drive for a good shag.

After the show is over I would sneak over to their trailers like I'm doing it now. Slowly with all the stealth I can muster I would slowly make my way round the trailers in the cloak of darkness , gently open the dwarf trailer door and voila! make a grand entrance in my birthday suit. Believe me, I am a much awaited present . Infact I am quite famous amongst the dwarfs of different circuses and they keep abreast of my doings when they happen to meet up.

But I am a jealously guarded secret not revealed to regular circus men. Why? Because I am a drop dead buxom blond bombshell. Five foot eight inches and 38DD. I am a sex-crazed Amazonian goddess in front of those little men. They love to climb up on me and suck my big pink tits like greedy little piglets.

My cunt is a huge canyon no Indian or cowboy would want to leave. It's a blond bush of unlimited fuck which no woman can beat as I can put my legs behind my head while lying in a missionary position. So now you know why I am guarded so well by my pets.

Did I move off the topic? Can't blame a girl for a little bit of
vanity.No more diversions. Where was I? Oh yes, making my way towards the trailer.The Barnaby circus is in town this season so I'm going to fuck top class dwarf cocks.

This time I'm not entering as a nude slut but as a sleazily dressed whore . I'm wearing a cheap see through black cotton bra  and crotchless red satin panties. My dwarf Howard loves these red panties . Last time he wore them and put on a sassy show for me which resulted in a all night fuckfest.

Slowly I enter into the trailer. The lights are off.

'Funny' I think 'maybe Howard's off for a game of cards.'

"Surprise!" I hear three male voices shout. In front of me I see
Howard, Matthew and Chris - my dwarf fuck buddies. And what is Howard holding in his hands? A birthday cake shaped like a penis with two candles together making a grand thirty.

Overcome with emotions I fall to my kness to recieve a kiss on my lips from Howard . "Happy birthday darlin' we thought we would have a party for you and with you."

He places another peck on my lips. Disappointed I pull him closer and give him a nice French kiss with my tongue swirling in his mouth exploring the domain with vigorous enthusiasm. Feeling his hands get under my short tank top I quickly take the tank and shorts off to reveal my see through bra and red panties. Howard  draws a breath in and rips off the bra and takes a pert nipple in his mouth .
My head falls back feeling the pull. Suddenly I feel another mouth suck my other tit.I grab both the heads and moan "Oh! this is too good to be true! Two of my darlings!"

But wait! I feel a tongue snake into my cunt. Surprised I open my eyes to see Matthew buried in my cunt,  sucking at the juices. My clit begins to flow under his expert tongue flicking technique.

Unable to stay in the kneeled position I pant, "Let's lie down. I want all three of you."

Howard moves away and looking at me straight in the eye says, "No hon - keep kneeling - this will be fun"

All three come and stand before me .Howard pulls out a red scarf from a nearby drawer and ties it round my eyes.

I hear his voice say "Sweets, tell us later who fucked you from where and if you win this game you will get unlimited passes to all the circuses that pass through this town for next two years."

I suck my stomach in excitement .Light kisses are peppered all over my body and nimble fingers begin their explorations through all the curves and crevices.

"No foreplay," I pant. "Give me my birthday fuck"

Low laughter greets my statement.I hear a whisper of movement behind me and feel my taut cheeks being parted . A hard cock invades my arse and a shot of pain sears into my womb. The hard shaft drives harder and the skin around my hole grips the dick like a clamp holding it in place .

Small hands grab my waist from the back and the hard rod tries to move in deeper and deeper like a well oiled drill.

"Ahhhhh" I begin moaning .I start to move into a doggie style position
and hear a whisper say "No cherie" and I am kept kneeling . Through the blindfold, I feel a small presence come in front of me and another dick enter into my drenched cunt.The two dicks meet in my quim . I become the hole that binds them together.The hard force of the pounding makes my tits real hard and a mouth starts sucking them in turns.Pulling at the nipples , grazing them to high peaks with sharp teeth and twisting and turning them driving my senses crazy.

Unable to hold back  I feel the spasm and say " I'm coming"

Again the low voice whispers "No way,not yet"

And all three pull away leaving me to my wretched aroused
misery."Please don't leave me like this" I moan.

A hand gently moves the sweat drenched hair away from my face and a voice says"We don't plan to".

I am gently made to stand and taken to what seemed to be Howard's bed from what I can remember of his trailer layout. I try to lie down but am held back again.My left wrist is taken and tied to the post.

I hear what sounds like Matthew's voice say "Step in"

Unable to understand I reply "huh?"

"Trust us just step in"

Blindly I take a step into the darkness and feel cold metal against my calf.And just as I'm getting a bit doubtful my right wrist is also tied to another bed post.

"Raise your left leg now" I am instructed.

"This is spoiling the sex" I snap at them.

A sniggering voice replies "You will love this."

My left leg is also tied to a post .Standing on one foot I have a hard time balancing and then my right leg is raised and tied to the last post. And then it dawns on me . I am tied to a bedframe without a mattress facedown. I am the Mattress!! Sweet mother of jesus what a fucking turn on!

And just as suddenly my butt cheeks are parted and a dick again slams into my rectum. The slapping of the balls against my butt makes my clit warm up again and the juices begin to drip on the floor.

"Want more, sweet cheeks? a voice caresses my mouth and then I feel my clit being sucked from below and two fingers being shoved up my cunt searching and finding my G-spot. My nub becomes swollen and the pleasure has me thrashing my head from side to side.

I am unable to hold back my screams and a hand grabs my head, lifting it