Things That Bang

Recently a friend of mine came over and breathed heavily on my face and said,"I have something to tell you but you must not tell any one about it, not even your husband."

I raised an eyebrow and enquired,"Not even my husband? But, I tell him everything."

She raised her eyebrows,"Really? Well, this one you can't tell him."

I was miffed, "Then, I don't want to know your secret."

Now she was miffed, "Fine. I won't tell you."

I shrugged my shoulders and replied casually, "Okay by me."

"Okay by me, too," she parroted

I rolled my eyes,"This is juvenile."

She crossed her arms defensively and replied "I know. So, do you want to know?"

I crossed my arms and stared in her eyes "But, I have to tell my husband."

She glared at me, "Why?"

I smiled, "Because I'm happily married."

She rolled her eyes, "That's friggin' nauseating."

I glared at her, "No, it means having your husband as your best friend."

She glared back, "I thought I was your best friend."

Brief pause

"So, do you or don't you want to know my secret?"

"Only if I can tell my husband."

"Damn it! Why can't you say that you will keep the secret and later tell your husband?"

Pregnant pause

"But, then it won't be a secret."

"Of course, it will be secret. It will circulate on a different level which won't be connected to me or the person it is about. So, now do you want to know my secret?"

"Okay, but just so you know I might tell one more person other than my husband."