Have You Found Jesus Yet?
"Have you found Jesus yet?" that was the line that greeted me outside a grocery store.
"huh?" I juggled my ten month and a bag of diapers and wondered if I had heard right.
The young guy who stared back at me seemed to have swallowed a whole bottle of Valium or was plain loco.
I took a step back, he took a step forward, I grabbed the hand of my three year old, clutched my ten month old and the diaper bag then slowwwwly backtracked into the store.
I waited for about ten minutes till he started harassing...um ..saving another soul and quietly slipped into a waiting cab.
Why is it that people who are happy with their faith try their best to convert others? I mean seriously, its a conversion sickness
- You will be more happy if you'd be like me. Believe in my god, go to my temple or church. C'mon on I'd even throw in after Church lunch.'
'No'
'No?' the eyes become larger
'Don't you believe in God?'
'Sure, as much as i believe in Santa Clause'
'Think you are funny? God still loves you and you turn your back on him.'
'Are you sure he is a he and not a she or for that matter a he/she?'
'Making jokes huh? Only he can make you happy.'
'Actually my new iPod makes me pretty happy. It has that new video feature and-'
'There is an eternity of damnation waiting for you.'
'Will it be smoking or non smoking there?'
'You think you are funny?' the eye starts flickering
'Er..you said that already.'
'He loves you, I love you'
'Okay buddy take it easy .'
'Faith makes you happy'
'Are you on something?'
'On something? God doesnt condone drugs, he is love and compassion. Will you come to our church?'
'No'
'He loves you, you must know that. One visit, please help me boost my conversion numbers. I'll give you a cookie.'
I'm glad I was rude and backtracked. This would probably been how the conversation would have gone down.
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Have I Found Jesus Yet?
More and more I become annoyed by people who keep asking me if I have found Jesus yet, as if he has been lost. Are their lives so boring and base that the only way they can spice things up is by advertising that boredom to people who might actually answer that stupid question in the and show any interest? I want to know who told them that they have to go out and annoy the hell out of people? Oh, excuse me, lest I forget, I must mention the righteous intent of those who attempt to save me by asking that idiotic question. Righteous intent, or is it idiotic fear of damnation resulting from brainwashing due to an empty life and a low IQ? Who the hell would stop living life to its full potential by accepting the faith of evangelists? The problem is they are not the only one who resort to shameful - and yes, sinful - tactics. Let me tell you my story:
On a hot Texas day in Fort Worth I was approached by a man who asked me if I had found Jesus? I told him no. He said that I was going to hell since I did not know Jesus. "Prey thee, my good man," replied I, "how is it that I would be going to Hell when I seek forgiveness for my wrongs, value decency, and generally try to be good? Does that not count for something?" To which he replied that even so I would still be going to Hell. So I told him that I would meet him in Hell just as well for threatening me and striking "fear" in my heart, and that the lost Lord he was evangelising for was a false Lord. With that I bid him adieu and walked away, as he stood dumbfounded for he saw the error of his ways. Therefore I say Live and Let Live.
But another story begs a mention. On another hot Texas day a representative of the First Baptist church approached me. He looked at me with some deep eyes, mouth ear to ear, and said "Can I offer you some FREE water, sir?" Since he emphasized the word FREE, I said "There is no such thing as Free any more, but since you are offering, I'll take that cup. Thank you." So I took the cup, and no sooner did I attempt to raise it to my lips when he asked me "Do you have Jesus in your heart brother?" The jig was up. I returned the cup to him untouched, told him he had committed a sin by using false pretenses to lure me to listen to his message, and therefore his church would be unsuitable to me.
So there is always a catch. Religion is just like any business out there. That one time that you show interest because you may find comfort, it sucks you right in. So good luck to all you fools out there, but you are looking for eternity in the wrong place. If the eternity they advertise to me is a reflection of their action, then I don't want it. I'll go to Hell; at the very least I know what to expect from those folks.
Posted by: Yogi | May 10, 2006 08:46 PM
Yogi, you'd probably find me partying in hell already
Posted by: deepti lamba | May 10, 2006 09:09 PM
Yeah I know, I'll be right there with you. At least it will be fun. (sic)
Posted by: Yogi | May 14, 2006 02:14 PM
ringtones free
Posted by: cih1jc2@search.com | June 24, 2006 07:15 PM