Most you who read my blog must think that I'm perpectually mad. Yeah, mad would be the right word - I've been mad since the time I went to America and then returned to India. Mad and suffering from gigantic bouts of self- pity and to top it all I'm nutty, okay stupid enough, to do some serious self-reflection on my site which might lose connection any time as BSNL is like a classy whore wearing an expensive push up bra; hiding the worst kind of saggy disappointing tits.

So much for vulgarity but it pays to have a bit of a sense of humor even when one feels reality shift from beneath one's feet or get so tired of the daily grind that drowning oneslef in a clogged up flush all of a sudden seems like a fantastic idea.

Sure, I have a loving marriage, two beautiful kids but no time to myself at all and its driving me nuts. The only time I get to be alone is in the loo and there too i hear the maid calling me "Mama...Parita is crying ....mama..I have to sweep the floor"

Yeah...the maid calls me Mama and I feel that I all a sudden am a mother of a fifteen year old who is generally a nice girl but dumb as a door nob and most of the time I land up baby sitting her while she baby sits my kids.

As much as I love my kids I wish I could have some time to myself even writing now seems like a chore. I don't want to stress my brain; just be a watch that slowly winds down and never comes back on again.

I am so very tired.