There are men and women who consider homemakers to be a little above parasites. They believe that homemakers tend to gossip over endless cups of teas, wear all their jewelry to kitty parties and turn into fat nagging hags and the myth continuous to rear its ugly head time and time again in magazines and newspapers. People tend to ask women innocent questions like- So what do you do? Oh, you are a homemaker, so how do you fill your time?

My standard reply is – I gorge on food, become fatter than a hippo, nag my husband since I’m a mindless shrew and spend most of my time comparing my jewelry to that of the lady sitting next to me in a Card’s party.

Obviously, any individual who asks me this question tends to backtrack realizing that asking a homemaker, nowadays, how she fills her time is akin to putting their hand in basket of poisonous cobras.

This is the flip side of feminism where those who continue to be homemakers are considered to be unproductive members of the society where as those who bring in a second income are considered to be equal to their male counterparts.

Previously a woman’s identity was tied to her home and income of her husband but today it is tied to the job she does. Unfortunately what society continues to fail to realize is that identity has nothing to do with the job a person does or the person one is married to but it is tied to how emotionally, mentally stable an individual is or whether the person is at ease with who they are.

A homemaker, well, at least an ideal homemaker, is a woman who treats her home as a job she has to excel at. Whether she has servants or not to do her bidding or a tuition sir to educate her kids, she is the queen of her hearth and her job is to provide a haven where the family members return to be refreshed before facing the rigors of the outside world.

She is supposed to be the balm on the souls of her family, it is her job to nourish them physically and spiritually and it isn’t an easy job. Obviously, there are those who fail at it, heck, there are career women who are lousy at their jobs but being the pivotal nurturing member responsible for family stability is a chore that cannot be taken lightly or pooh- poohed as done by society.

Putting all the ‘isms’ aside (yes, I am talking about feminism here and sense of identity clash in the minds of women) what is important is to ensure the survival of the family unit which is no different from the cave man days. The two mates in the past had to ensure that their kids survived to be adults and became productive members of the family and community and so is the case now.

The difference between being the breadwinner or the nurturer is hardly of any importance when it comes down to ensuring the survival of a balanced family in today’s world. Whether the woman is a career-oriented woman trying to do a balancing act between her career and family or a housewife whose sole purpose is to be ‘there’ 24/7 for her family the important thing is to realize that life is all about choices and there are no martyrs no matter which path we women may choose.

Today’s housewives/homemakers have home businesses where they turn their hobbies into their profession- women who run boutiques from home, some have cleaning agencies, some make tiffins for bachelors and then there is the new breed that blogs and some even make tons of money at online auctions.

There are ample ways of filling one’s time and making a living from it while being at home. That’s what home businesses are all about.

My point, however, remains that we should not buy into any of the ‘isms’ or old notions of what a woman’s identity should be. It isn’t related to the work that she does either at home or in the world but with the kind of person she is and the value she adds to the world she lives in.