Most of you won’t be interested in knowing that this was supposed to be my first podcast and why would you since it sounds as wimpy as when people talk about their first wank, date, kiss, fuck – did I leave out any other firsts? – oh yeah, first marriage , first mummified wedding dress, first head shave, yeah I’m talking about Brit here, you smart alecs you knew that right?, first nekkid pics on the net like that American Idol Babe – Barba , the first decomposing wrinkle on Anna Nicole’s body or my failed attempt at making my voice croak.
Getting back to the thick of things – there has been a lot of hullabaloo about this Egyptian blogger that had been thrown into jail for Bitch slapping God and Country. So what if the Egyptian babes can’t get certain jobs, or go in for higher education or aren’t allowed to marry men of their choice, they should take it all in their stride along with rape and genital mutilation since its been part of their culture even before the prophet made his appearance. I mean, they should be able to take a little bit of pain after all no pain no Allah fearing husbandly gain , right?
Those are the rules and anyone who flaunts them deserves to be thrown in jail for four years. The Egyptian government is devout and shit scared of the flowing white bearded anti thesis of Santa Claus- the Mullahs. No one is allowed to do a show and tell or better still, clean their dirty linen in front of the whole wide world which the Americans are so good at doing. Isn’t that the reason why there is the blanketed Ji-haad on Americans? Antonella Barba is a good example with her trashy whoring pics and so what if she sings like an angel or how about old hussies like Patrica Heaton who strut around braless at public functions?
Time for me to catch my breath, the visit to the terrorist camp has clearly warped my mind. To many of you it wouldn’t have mattered that a whole bunch of people including kids died on a train blast a few days ago in India. And I don’t blame you, there is just so much violence that we tune our senses out. Its like walking in a meat mart, after a while you get used the stink, the gore, the bleating cries of the herded cattle, you put on your IPod and walk down the street and no I’m not going to say – till it happens to you as that would be a crappy cliché.
But what I am going to talk about is the level of stupidity that links us all as humans, the sheer bone headedness that we seem to suffer from. The train that was bombed is called the Samjauta Express (the Reconciliation Express) and many who survived the blasts were Pakistanis heading back home after visiting India. Those who survived were shifted to the hospital and within a few days the Pakistani government wanted their citizens to be airlifted back home. Fine, nothing wrong with that but one family decided that they wanted to go via land and after getting clearance from the hospital they moved on.
The plane in the meanwhile with all the burnt victims was stranded on the run way. One Pakistani family was missing- where were they? It was after waiting for over six hours in a suffocating plane did the authorities get to know that the family had left by land.
To cut the long story short- shouldn’t some one have informed someone? Stupidity runs in collective human blood streams. Whether it is governments or celebs snorting coke eight months pregnant acting like the Sad Clown who finally dies of over doze, they are stupid people and stupidity knows no race, culture or nationality.
Where best does Stupidity reign supreme? In a relationship were the couple doesn't realize when it call it quits. Here is a quick short story I’d like to end with till we meet again –
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A couple sitting in different restaurants discussing their marital problems with their friends:
He let his butt sink into the plush leather couch and said “She really isn’t into…”
“Sex” She pursed her lips and continued “That’s all he can think about. Whether it’s in the ..”
“Kitchen, bathroom, living room and even in the….”
“Garden! Can you believe it? We fucked in a wide open area where……”
“ All our neighbors could have seen …”
“Us but since it was late into the night I don’t think the neighbors noticed. The thing is, I’m not that …”
“Adventuress. She really isn’t. It has been over ten years to our marriage and …”
“Sex sucks! We get along fine but the…”
“Chemistry has always been missing. She is …”
“Frigid! He had the cheek to call me frigid after I refused to give him a …”
“Blow Job! What’s so bad in that? I told her that it’s been ten years and …”
“And I haven’t ever given him a blow job but he thinks it’s even worse that I’ve never…”
“As much as held it in her hands! We, men hold it in our hands all the time and it just a piece of meat that…”
“Has a mind of its own and what a mind! Do you know where he is sitting with his buddies right now ? It’s that restaurants where they serve drinks and smoke….”
“Cigars! Nothing like seeing a woman take that hefty….”
“Cigar in her mouth and smoke. It really …..”
“Gets me off. For me its like….”
“Watching a girl give oral sex. Yeah, isn’t that…”
“Crazy? You can say that but like I said …”
“The dick has a mind of its own.”
A movie trailer poster in Gandhi Nagar. Don't miss the Call Center ad on the side.
