Returning home is always good but one gets disoriented after a while. Old grocery stores may not be there, new products come in, old disappear( Leo Toys whatever happened to that Toy Company?) but the world remains kind of familiar and yet all new.

Suraksha:Our mechanic opened up a new showroom. It's spacious with A.C waiting room with Plasma TV and all. Hands on service and honesty is their selling point. Suraksha continues to have the old workshop in Madiwala but I prefer to drive down to the new one behind Infosys near the Electronic City.

Pampers: Yeah, legit Pampers have come to India but the Indian Pampers SUCK!! My daughter landed up with diaper rash wearing the Indian Pampers. Two glasses of water and I saw her diaper leak while she was standing right in front of me. The plastic used is cheap and when I tugged the Velcro it tore off from the Pamper. Indian Huggies are as bad, another rash despite the diaper cream and I went back to buying the Saudi Arabian Pampers.

Fab Mall : I like the one in forum. Unfortunately a lot of dimwits tend to jump the check out counter and the last time an idiot did it I got into an argument with the macho 'I have the right to be uncivilized' fucker! Nowadays I just let it slide - my lecturing won't change their defunct upbringing.

Nasa: The bar at church street is still the same. The pitchers cool, the music heart thumping but the food was so spicy that I had a fiery ass for a two days.

Clothes: Ritu Kumar is overpriced and very Auntyji. We fat I mean plump women need good clothes. The kurties here lack shape and I have yet to find good lingerie in Bangalore. Mustards is still okay. I can live with the clothes but the store continues to lack that fun element.

Also, I've desperately been looking for nightwear with lace and that 'oomph' but apparently women here prefer drabby block printed Kaftans best suited for vaginally dry women. I found myself holding a pajama suit up and asking the shopkeeper whether he was selling hospital wear to regular people. Banglorean women don't you like sexy lingere? I would probably have my nightwear shipped from Delhi.

Reliance Fresh: Is anything but fresh. The prices may be cheaper but the place is always crowed, the vegetables limp and the people behind the check in counters are slower than snails and did I also call them DUMB?

Namdhari: I love Namdhari Stores. My garden is overflowing with flowers that came from Namdhari Seeds and the Namdhari vegetables are as fresh as the ones we used to buy in the US stores. The mangoes are sweet, grapes crisp and juicy, they even have a salad counter. The best time to get the veggies at Namdhari is during mornings.

Garuda Mall: If hell had a mall it would be the Garuda Mall. Its always teeming with people and despite being spacious I feel claustrophobic over there. There is something very unclean about the place. Yes, I know all in my mind but I can't stand that place.

Forum: Its smaller than Garuda but more classy. Less shops but people still love to come there to walk around, shop and eat especially at MC Donalds and KFC. Kind of sick of that place too, just too many people. We have gone subaltern but I need my space.

Shoppers Stop: Good place where the general junta won't crawl around and you can shop in peace except when the dumb sales people touch your kids and may even push them off (One pushed my son so hard the fellow skidded and fell right before my eyes). Most are retards picked from the roads with no sense of personal space. Ah wel,l the concept of personal space or respecting little people is uncommon around here.

Lifestyle: Much better than Shoppers Stop. Their sales people and managers are more hand on, furniture exquisite and very IKEA , clothes section is awesome and their food court comfortable with all sorts of goodies available.

Sigma and Eva: Good malls but few stores and lesser customers:)

Bookshops: Strand and Blossoms are my favorite. Most of the times people will find me browsing for books there. I like Strand more than Blossoms since the owner Vidhya is a personable lady and tends to remember her frequent customers. Her book selections are good and sales people helpful. In fact Vidya had one of her people keep an eye on my daughter while I browsed for books.

There is a lot that Bangalore has to offer. National Market for pirated movies, good food, coffee shops, people,cars, parks. Lots of stuff but no sexy lingerie;)