“Suicide is a coward’s way out” Tony Soprano said in the latest episode of the Season Six of the Sopranos.

“The person who said those words didn’t know depression” replied the psychiatrist.

The article is not about Tony Soprano’s psychopathic afflictions but about those moments when one finally decides to end it all, when hopelessness overcomes the one instinct that nature gifted all her children with- the instinct of self preservation and the person takes his/her own life.

Suicide has not always been condemned by society across the world. While in India sages were known to take ‘Samadhi’ in their bid to be one with the universe, Japanese Samurais were known to fall on their swords after defeat, there were the kamikaze pilots who didn’t think twice about killing themselves along with the enemy and then in modern times we have the human bombs.

But the examples given above are extraordinary acts driven by religion, philosophy or political ideologies. Common folks who cut their wrists, overdose on drugs, jump off buildings, hang themselves or find other ways of killing themselves do so because of manic depression, grief, disappointments or being unable to face up to the consequences of their actions.

Today we try to save these kinds of people from themselves. Some like K.N Rashmi could have been saved and made to see reason. The heading on the newspaper on 24th May said “She May Have Died In Vain.” Isn’t suicide always in vain? What purpose does it serve? Families are left to grieve and wonder till their dying days if there was anything they could have done to save their loved one.

According to Vijay Times:

Rashmi had got 7th rank out of more than 8,000 students in the recently held PGET. According to Dr Vasanth Kumar, Registrar of RGUHS, - She had got a very good rank and she could have got Pediatrics in any government medical colleges except Bangalore Medical College….

People who knew Rashmi are bewildered by her actions. Family and friends are left grieving and we as a society wonder the kind of pressure we are putting on young people or have they become glass children giving up hope just when things get tough?

Having gone through my share of suicidal tendencies back in my lonely teen years I can say at least for myself that it had more to do with depression and being detached from family and the world. When life becomes dreary one often believes that death would ease one’s pains once and for all. Did Rashmi feel so? I wouldn’t know but wish she had been found in the nick of time.

People die around us all the time, a moment dies and another lives. Everything that exists in this world must die; it’s just a matter of time. And yet we try to stop those who want to embrace it voluntarily. It’s easier for us to accept the death of a loved one due to accidents or terminal sickness but murder and suicide are the two acts that grieving families has a tough time coming to terms with.

Both are seen as acts that could have been avoided but tell me how do we restore those who are broken both in spirit and body and don’t want to live anymore no matter what?

Poems and plays are written about doomed couples who take their own lives rather than live separated. Even in real life when a spouse dies after long years of marriage the one left behind often pines away and dies within a space of few months.

This kind of passive suicide where the mind virtually tells the body to waste away is somehow accepted by society and viewed with rosy nostalgia- A Love so strong that one could not live without the other.
However viewed its suicide nonetheless albeit a silent one where the cries of help are ignored by the world and person’s life is shortened by acute grief.

Suicide watches are a must but I have often wondered whether we as a society have the right to hold someone hostage and make them live when they no longer want to be part of the herd? The chances of those who have actually tried to commit suicide trying it again is quite high and how long is it before they succeed in their actions?
Why is it tough for us to shrug and let them put an end to their lives? Isn’t that a form of self culling? We can’t build someone’s self worth nor ensure that a manic depressive person is on 24/7 drugged high for the rest of his/her life. What value do they add to society? In the cave man days they would have been weeded out a long time back.
And herein lies the grain of truth in modern world we believe that even the most debilitated person has something to offer and can enrich his/her life in creative ways.

People are sharply divided on the concept of suicide and euthanasia. And while I personally feel that cheating death even for one more day is worthwhile but I also wonder whether it is right for us make someone live who is hell bent on dying despite all the help we offer? What do we do when they refuse to see reason?