Things That Bang

Just when I thought I had read enough weird shit on the net I stumbled upon a guy whose been given three years on probation for simulating sex with his bicycle.

Mr Stewart was caught in the act with his bicycle by cleaners in his bedroom at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr. Gail Davidson, prosecuting, told Ayr Sheriff Court: "They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply. "They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white t-shirt, naked from the waist down. "The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex." Both cleaners, who were "extremely shocked", told the hostel manager who called police.

So the fellow turned out to be a cycle-sexualist but he was doing his 'thang' in the privacy of his bedroom and whether he shoved the handle up his ass or got off on the seat it just wasn't any one's business!!

Even the Islamic zealots sitting in the Pashtun region would advise therapy not probation!!