Things That Bang

I generally wait for a review from Roger Ebert before I decide whether to wait for an English (Hollywood movie) to hit the theaters or pick it up from my piracy guy a few weeks later. As far as his review of Beowulf is concerned I'm kind of wanting and not wanting to wait for the movie to hiit the Indian theaters. It seems as if the movie is worth watching only in a IMAX theater (they don't exist in Bangalore) or for the sake of a supposedly naked Jolie. Though Roger Ebert made a surprising observance about her feet and other covered areas:

Truth in criticism: I am not sure Angelina Jolie was nude. Oh, her character was nude, all right, except for the shimmering gold plating that obscured certain crucial areas, but was she Angelina Jolie?.. We are not looking at flesh-and-blood actors but special effects that look uncannily convincing, even though I am reasonably certain that Angelina Jolie does not have spike-heeled feet. That's right: feet, not shoes.

He goes on to give the storyline which we all know and then talks about the tacky dialogs:

But I'm not complaining. I'm serious when I say the movie is funny. Some of the dialogue sounds like "Monty Python." No, most of the dialogue does. "I didn't hear him coming," a wench tells a warrior. "You'll hear me," he promises. Grendel is ugly beyond all meaning. His battles are violent beyond all possibility. His mother (Jolie) is like a beauty queen in centerfold heaven. Her own final confrontation with Beowulf beggars description. To say the movie is over the top assumes you can see the top from here.

Aww the top of Angelina's ...I digress. Mulling over the fine sarcasm in Roger Ebert's review (which if you ask me feels like a red wine swirling against the palate) I realized one thing for sure my piracy guy will be paid a visit next week to ask for Beowulf and if I am feeling too lazy to travel half way across the city for a pirated copy I just may find myself sitting in a theater and watch the movie and throw some popcorn at nakkid Angelina.