Things That Bang

Gigolos in India for women? BBC woke up to the fact on the 7th of January as did some Desis and some even considered it to be a relatively new phenomenon. But I snickered, the first time I saw male flesh for hire was back in 1996 when in a nightclub in Delhi my friends pointed out a group of gigolos who stood on the sidelines.

It's an old and well known practice common in Delhi and Mumbai. Sugar daddies and mommies have their toy boys and those who party at all the right places know who does who for love and who does who just to get their rocks off.

Even in those days, it  wasn't just some forty year old 'Auntyji' neglected by her husband who crawled these grounds for some male flesh. The hunters were mostly thirty-something urban women, hunting in packs. As it is, I don't consider 40 year old women to be Auntyjis. They are MILFs at the peak of their sexuality, sure of their femininity and they enjoy relative freedom from home and work to explore newer outlets to affirm their identities.

I understand why Sita got offended by one of the authors at Desimanifesto, who discussed the BBC article, and made some wild assumptions that only beady old 40ish Auntyjis wanted male attention and were willing to pay for it.

They’re older aunties. I imagine that in America, women’s sex lives extend past age 40, but in India? Somehow it never crossed my mind. They all lose their sex drives and just want to go to work, or if they’re homebodies, they want to roll rotis and bother younger women about getting married. Right? Please?

The dude was wrong on all counts. Most women in India love sex and I am not talking about the few repressed 'middle class' babes who hate sex. I am talking about those upwardly mobile women with healthy sexual appetites and also those middle aged maids doing the gardeners or the drivers. Women do have multiple sex partners - gasp as much as you like, but they do exist in our cities and villages.

To make such blanket statements shows bias of the worst sorts- that the Western women are oversexed and the Indian women are repressed prudes who dry up by the time they hit their forties.

The fact that there are women willing to pay for sex should be treated the same way as we treat men who are willing to pay for sex. Why the sudden raising of eyebrows? Doesn't it smell of old middle class Desi mendacity where we re-inforce the middle class notion that sex is just an activity indulged in to make babies and is purely a male driven need?

Going back to the Desimanifesto writer, he further commented that women paid more for companionship than sex:

Perhaps male prostitution could be a way of eroding arranged marriages altogether. These women who are hiring the gigolos are doing so for more than sex. Many want companionship at a minimum. Maybe these are the same aunties, sisters, or mothers (nasty) who advise younger females of marriageable age. Maybe their advice will be something better than what they heard, which was likely “He has a good job, so stop complaining.” Or maybe I’m just crazy optimistic (or hating a little too much on arranged relationships).

Sorry mate, none of these Auntyjis actually are the types to tell their young ones that sex is bad and then wear a see through nightie and knock on their 'studly' neighbor's door. The types who enjoy the hourly service are more likely to share the pimp's number in case the young one wants some action on the side. Women are no different from men.

In certain tourist spots such as Kenya, there are older women picking up young boys and having flings with them, but that's where it all stops. They pay the young men like they pay their hotel room bills and go back to their lives. Its a no strings attached deal and the same works in the world of prostitution where its either a biological need or a temporary fantasy.

When you pay money you know it's candy, and not Crème brûlée.

Why is it so hard for Desi men to understand that there are women who enjoy alternative lifestyles or like to live dangerously on the side?

The dude further went on to snicker:

Regardless, this particular subsection of the world’s oldest profession probably shouldn’t have surprised me. But it did. So I thought it might surprise some of you. If any of you read about police intercepting a high-roller Delhi swingers party, go ahead and send me the link. And any accompanying photos.