Things That Bang

In today's age of consumerism, the institution of marriage has seen a change in its character. While in the West the concept of falling in love and marrying is finally being superseded by marrying someone with the same bent of mind, in India as well, although the concept of arranged and love marriages still exists, within the given parameters of these two subcategories, people are looking for partners with whom they have more in common than just family approval or the pulling of heartstrings.

There was a time when television was the binding force between couples who had different tastes or had grown apart. They would watch their favorite programs together, discuss them, and get back into the daily Socialistic grind of Babu work or standing in ration lines.

With the opening up of the Indian economy in the nineties and the infiltration of cable, the Indian mind found itself leaping into the world of The Bold and The Beautiful, Santa Barbara and drinking Coke from a can.

Love marriages became as widely accepted as were arranged marriages, and people began to marry outside their caste and even communities.

The true sociological effects of the flattening of the world were finally felt in the early years of the current decade when money and power came early to the urban youth of India and along with it came the desire to possess the riches at a quicker pace.

The IPod generation of today are the children of consumerism. They are hip, suave and possess the latest gadgets, modes of transportation and have traveled abroad more frequently than their parents ever dreamed of.

The interaction between these netizens is quite unique - their values are now transaction oriented and more corporate based - the higher the position in the company the higher the salaries and level of lifestyles.

Happiness is now judged now not only in terms of materialism but the need to fit in or be with like-minded people. These are jaded youth who have seen it all at a young age and want more than just love and companionship- they want stimulating relationships within the nuclear family framework.

More and more people are heading towards what Betsey Stevenson and Justin Wolfers call hedonic marriages.

Hedonic marriage is different from productive marriage. In a world of specialization, the old adage was that “opposites attract,” and it made sense for husband and wife to have different interests in different spheres of life. Today, it is more important that we share similar values, enjoy similar activities, and find each other intellectually stimulating. Hedonic marriage leads people to be more likely to marry someone of their similar age, educational background, and even occupation.....

...the high divorce rates among those marrying in the 1970s reflected a transition, as many married the right partner for the old specialization model of marriage, only to find that pairing hopelessly inadequate in the modern hedonic marriage

In today's world where money can buy just about anything and female emancipation has given choice to women, the hunt for happiness seems to have taken a narcissistic turn where we, in effect, want to be with someone like ourselves who shares similar desires, goals and attitude towards life.

While this consumerist culture may paint pictures of happy 'mall going intellectual' marriages and Benetton-wearing families, but the darker side has to be taken into account as well.

There is the double income trap where both the couples are working but less money is filtering in due to healthcare expenses, home loans, car loans and credit card loans causing a Catch-22 situation where not only marriages suffer but also children are left in daycare or with 24/7 nannies, or are made to take up too many extra-curricular activities that rob them of their childhood.

The tide cannot be turned and while the idea of being with someone similar makes marriages successful, but throwing in the consumerist addiction that we all seem to suffer from, it's a strange new world that married couples have to deal with.