Things That Bang

Adnan Ghalib is planning on making a recording studio, get some leather couches, hookahs and has made a mental note not to keep any guns in or around the harem. Why? If we are to believe rumors being aired in Pakistan Britney wants to marry Adnan, convert to Islam and end her kitty/titty flashing days.

Rumors tend to be bizarre but Britney turning to Islam is way out there. Sure, prison mates convert all the time, find spiritual anchorage and leave the life of deviancy behind but a wild filly like Brits who acts like character right out of a tattered 90's Jackie Collins novel could never hang her bikini and wear a burkha (no pun intended here- you naughty- you!), she thrives on the world attention too much despite her - leave me alone protests.

She needs her drugs, her parties, her flimsy clothes and her little pooch. Maybe a part of her knows she is spiraling way out of control but if she converts, marries Dodi Al Fayed she will give the Queen nightmares till the end of her days and the sun will set on the British Empire.

Er....I think I got my stories mixed up but Rose O'Donnel recently compared Britney to Diana not because of the pets men they kept but the hounding by the paparazzi:

I remember the tunnel as it appeared on the news, lit by headlights, flashlights, red lights. Between the cement tall pillars was a heap of twisted metal. I saw it then, and I can see it now. Diana dead.
She will be trying to get away, but they will chase her, just as they chased her into that church yesterday. There were dozens of them, jostling their way into sanctuary, elbowing past each other, just to creep closer to her. Even her last-minute, folded-hand prayers can’t be kept sacred. There can be no silent moments in a crowd; no silence, and no secrets.

All this fresh, painful frailty costs her so much, but it lines their pockets very well. A kings ransom was paid for those tabloid-ready cheap shots of her with messy hair, tear-soaked eyes, and the half-smile of a desperate baby girl.

“I’m scared,” she told them yesterday, when they later mobbed her at court. “Move back,” she said. “I’m scared. Stop it. Stop it. I want to get back in the car. Just stop it. Let me get in the car, please.”
Sometimes it really is too much. Internal wires cross. Anxiety hits. Panic sets in the heart. Dread. Fear.

And death; Rosie seemed to have missed that. One is dead and the other seems to be heading towards it - fast. Maybe thats why the rumors are there. Maybe Rosie tapped into our collective psyche and wrote the post as a kind of a doomsday prophesy after all what will the world be without our dear Britney in it?

People in the online world are already talking about it. There is a nasty site called - whenisBritneygoingtodie.com that will give the winner who successfully predicts her death a PS3. Point is- they are expecting her to die soon since a PS3 in another ten, okay lets be nice, in another twenty years would be junk.

Obviously its a nasty thing to do but the net tends to reflect what we think whether its politically correct or not. Let's face it if Britney converts and goes into recluse it will be a living death but knowing Brits she rather go down with a bang than a whimper.

Whatever be her problems she ain't gonna become part of some rich dude's zannanah, more like a sex slave or a .... time to go wash my mouth with soap and get my mind out of the gutters;)