Things That Bang

‘Tusi Papaji de kol kyu nahi jande? O te twadi saab musibatanu finish kar de ge!’ 

(Why don't you go to Papaji? He will solve all your troubles) 

Parvinder winced when she heard her next door neighbor advice her mother-in-law.

It had been ten years to her marriage and she had yet to produce a child.

“Mrs Dhillon, tusi theekh kende ho, par Mrs Sharma te en cheezo nu nahi-“

(Mrs Dhillon, you are right but Mrs Sharma does not believe in such matters) 

“Mrs Sharma nu choro! Mere gal mano, kal Papaji de kol jaoo”

(Forget Mrs Sharma. Listen to me and go to Papaji tomorrow) 

Parvinder bit her lip but didn’t say a word. Rajesh had a low sperm count, she could be artificially inseminated but he and his mother were against it. Their macho denial had left her childless. Her eyes fell on the nail polish her thumb nail was busy chipping. All the other three fingers had perfect nail polish but not the index finger of her right hand. It was an old habit she had since she was a teenager, a habit that was a sure sign of repression; Gunjan her psychiatrist friend had told her so.

Gunjan had a brood of three children, career and home in Friends Colony. Parvinder, however, was childless and married into a business family in Patel Nagar.

“Parvinder beta, you will go with your sasu-ma tomorrow? Beta, you will have a baby I promise you.”

Mrs Dhillon touched her head, said- Jai Mata Di and headed towards the main door.

“Parvinder Beta, assi Mrs Dhillon nu see off kar de, tusi Raj nu neeche bulado.”

(Parvinder I am seeing off Mrs Dhillon please call Raj down)

Parvinder let out a sigh and buzzed the intercom.

“Ke gaal hai?” (What is it?) her husband’s annoyed voice came through. He didn’t like to be disturbed while he was playing on his X-Box

“Mummyji is calling you down.”

She heard an annoyed sigh and a click. Rajesh and she always spoke in English. He wanted a girl who spoke in English but retained the Indian sanskars - he got Parvinder.

“Ke gaal hai, ma?” (What is it, Ma?) he bellowed as he came down the stairs.

Ignoring his wife, he stepped out into the driveway and spoke to his mother. Under the flowering bougainvillea, mother and son conversed. Parvinder couldn’t hear a word but she knew what was being discussed. Tomorrow they will be going and meeting some god-man called Papaji.

*************

The morning came in all its sunny glory with Parvinder looking like a supple Punjabi in her chiffon saree. The neighborhood men turned and smiled at her fondly with a tinge of envy. She was what they could never have and her husband never appreciated her. She smiled at them cordially and they smiled back appreciating her silent grace.

Rajesh opened the door of his new Scorpio.

“Challo! C’mon Pari, get in. Ma is already sitting in the back.”

Parvinder felt a restlessness swell within the pit of her belly and it had nothing to do with the Gobi Parantha Maharaj had cooked and lovingly served her.

“Raj, I’m not too keen about this”. She muttered and felt dismayed as Rajesh’s face handsome face clouded with anger.

He walked over to her and spoke to her through clenched teeth.

“Why do you always do this at the last moment? You know ma has a weak heart. Just play along. The man will bless you and you will be back home! Now get in!”

He stalked over to the driver’s side, got in and slammed the door shut.

Parvinder sighed and got in.

“Parvinder beta, why do you worry? Don’t you want a baby? I want a grandson; a beautiful whiter than milk grandson.” Her mother in law occasionally spoke in English just to remind Parvinder that she too studied in a Convent school.

As the car sped through the West Delhi traffic Parvinder stared out.

Bitterness tasted like bile in her mouth. She was such a coward. If only she could leave this family like Gunjan kept telling her to.

They reached some obscure slummy area; she didn’t even know the name of the locality. It wasn’t important.

Rajesh pulled in front of a garish yellow colored bungalow.

“This seems to be the place.”

Mother and son stepped out of the car and walked towards the house.

Parvinder slowly stepped out.

Her phone rang.

“Hello?” She softly answered.

“Pari beta! Is that you?” an urgent female voice cackled through.

“Auntiji? yes, its me.”

“Where is Sulekhaji?”

Parvinder looked at her mother in law’s fat body standing at the bungalow’s main door while her husband rang the bell.

“We are outside Papajis”

“That’s what I thought! Don’t let her go in. Give her the phone! Jaldi!"

Parvinder ran over to the two most important people in her life.

“Mrs Sharma!” she huffed.

Mummyji took the phone.

“Hello? Romitaji?”

“Kya?” Her beady eyes flashed. Shock made her look like a cow facing a butcher’s knife.

“Wapis challo! Abhi!” ( We have to go! Now)

She switched off the cellphone, grabbed her son’s arm and hurried towards the car.

Parvinder followed, puzzled. Something had happened but what?

“What happened Mummyji?” She asked. She had never seen her mother in law so mad.

“That woman has a lot to answer for.”

“Who ma?” Rajesh looked at his fuming mother in the rearview mirror as he backed out of the parking spot.

“That Dhillon woman sent us over to a Tantrik!”

Parvinder suppressed the hysterical laughter that bubbled and threatened to spill out.

“WHAAAAAT?” Rajesh braked; turned and started at his mother. He was spitting mad.

“Niklooooo! Move from here; I will tell you.” His mother pleaded.

“Ma! Tell me!” He yelled back.

His mother began to fret.

“Gossip has it that not only is he a Tantrik but he is the father of Mrs Dhillon’s grandson.”

“KYA?! What are you saying Ma?”

“Arree!” She was annoyed “You know Satish is very pansy. Rumor is his kid-

“I’ve heard enough! Ma- you should be more careful. Any Tom or Jerry tells you something and you believe it and..."

"Beta! Don't talk to me like that. I am your-" 

Rajesh drove past a yellow clad man who had stepped out of the garish yellow house. Neither the mother, nor the son saw him. But Parvinder saw him and saw the man’s puzzled expression.

Rajesh was furious; his mother pleading and as they fought in the speeding Scorpio, Parvinder closed her eyes and fell asleep in the passenger seat.