Things That Bang

Two good articles on DC:

Mrs Anona discusses the housing issues in Devon Avenue and Harold Bergsma talks about the Hijras in Pakistan.

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Since the number of South African elephants has risen from 8,000 to 18,000 the government has said it would allow the culling of elephants and has incurred the wrath of animal rights activists:

They have already threatened to call tourist boycotts and take legal action against the measure, which had been expected.

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The public is a thick-skinned beast and you have to keep whacking away on it's hide to let it know you are there.
---------Walt Whiteman:Paul Johnson,
(A History Of American People)

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Does this scenario sound familiar? You find yourself talking to someone other than your spouse, returning home, eating a good meal, kids are already in bed, watching some TV or getting glued to the internet and then sneaking into your bed to hear your partner's gentle snores?

If this is you, your marriage might slowly but surely be dying. When we start getting emotionally attached to people, even though the interaction is non-sexual, it is that much emotional investment that we take away from our marriages.

The dangers posed to marriages are different from what they were two or three decades ago, when we heard of people actually leaving their partners to go and live with other people. Life is more compartmentalized due to the decrease in the amount of time spent at home and more at offices, working late hours and extended work strain, leading to deep emotional attachments between individuals married to different people.

The term 'office spouse' has done the rounds in recent years and can be seen at most workplaces. Is it wrong? Those who believe in the concept say this makes their marriages stronger but it makes one wonder if we need to look outside our marriages to fulfill a need that should ideally be found within, doesn't that make the relationship hollow?

Another element is the Internet. Those hooked to the Internet realize that it is as if being in another world altogether and those who don't understand the allure of the internet find themselves cut off from the most vital aspect of their partner's life.

It isn't about the Facebook, Twitter or GTalk, its about being connected to people without any kinds of social barriers. People find themselves forming deep friendships in the online world. Second Life has been a cause of break up of marriages since the gamers get so involved in their second lives that they begin to spend most of their home time on the game and not with their families.

Being 24/7 in chat rooms has led people to lead double lives. Cyber sex may be passe for the netizens but more and more individuals with partners not interested in the online world find themselves gravitating towards like-minded netizens and their spouses feeling lonely and vaguely betrayed.  

Some call them symptoms of couples already growing apart but I see them as causes that lead otherwise unwary couples finding themselves unable to bridge the gap due to the duplicity.

The rules of protecting one's marriage have changed. It isn't the physical presence from home that goes missing, it is the withdrawal of emotional and mental connections that cripples the marriage.

It is like fighting a bogeyman that exists all in the mind.

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What's in a Rose? I never much cared for Roses. As a Delhi-ite I used to cry off visits to the President's Rose Garden which continue to remain popular for Delhi visitor, nor did I care for the loving attention with which our old neighbor tried to cultivate a 'Black Rose' and after years of trying when she finally managed to have a 'dark maroon rose' I was dragged to see it and saw half the neighborhood oohing and ahhing over it.

I snorted and returned home. Who cared? There were better ways of entertaining oneself than paying homage to a shoddy little flower.

But my attitude came to bite me when I bought my first rose bush and it died on me. Disease-ridden and not getting proper nutrition the roses on it shriveled and its death jeered my sensibilities - I sucked at gardening.

I bought books and read up on roses and spoke to as many Rose lovers as I could. I had joined community of rose admirers. Part of being a Rose lover is trying to lay one's hands on different types of Roses but unfortunately most nurseries, despite their promises, are unable to offer wide varieties of roses.

My roses are the run of the mill kind but I am quite proud of them. Given the right weather conditions, plenty of sun, healthy soil and right kind of nutrition the bushes are blooming quite well but like any hobbyist I want more variety and seem to have been bitten by the bug to produce a Rose so dark that I would have my entire village come and gawk at my pride and joy.

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Hobbies can bring the demon out in us. Even the most bindaas amongst us become perfectionists and obnoxious.

Since Bangalore's weather is generally awesome for growing plants I got a lot of flowering seeds and planted them. Now the trouble brewing on my horizon is the dumb caretaker who is supposed to water my plants, he is old and lazy. He doesn't let me water my plants and conveniently forgets to do it himself.

And I get so freaking mad. This evening I stepped out and saw all my plants drooping. It was close to dusk and that bag of bones with nothing to do all day but sleep had once again forgotten to water the garden.

The buds of Hibiscus had shriveled and died within one day of not watering and other plants looked half dead. The soil was dry and hard.

I felt miserable and angry at the same time. The poor plants were dying and that dude couldn't get himself away from the t.v and his bed!

As I began to water the plants the guy came running- Bhabi, why are you watering the plants? Let me do it.

He tried to grab the pipe.

I tried to rein in my temper; not only is the man foolish but also senile and double my age. I couldn't scold him over my plants but I was blooming mad. My seeds need to be watered everyday for the shoots to come but the dumb fellow obviously doesn't care.

For him its a chore but for me its a passionate hobby and I seem to be raising my blood pressure over something that is supposed to be therapeutic.

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Luis Royo happens to be one of my favorite artists. His fantasy women are strong and bold much like the male warriors and yet they continue to retain the earthy sex appeal.

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Weekend is near and I am happy so today I declare on my blog - Sexy day!

A Florida Pastor issued a 30 days sex challenge for his married flock. They were to have sex everyday for the next 30 days. Everyday? Boner pills anyone? Beyond that he catered to the same lines we all have been hearing- be there for the little wifey, do the dishes, manage the kids...blah blah and then have sex.

Makes me wonder between the dishes and kiddos who has the time for sex? Lets go to the Pharmacy everyone. Those pills aren't cheap you know.

Mark Morford talks about the availability of condoms in NY and legal dildos in Texas.

Bryan Hathaway had been released from prison for killing and having sex with a horse, inappropriate contact with a minor and then had sex with a dead deer.

Hathaway told investigators that he saw a dead deer in a ditch near Superior in fall 2006 as he rode a bicycle by it. He then dragged it into the woods and had sex with it.

‘

‘When I was done, I was upset with myself,’’ Hathaway said in a statement to police. ‘‘I know having sex with animals is wrong.

But I can’t help myself and I need help.’’

Why do these dudes always come from the land of milk and cheese?

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Kankar pathar jodke masjid layi banaye

Ta chadi mulla bang de Kya bahira hua Khuda.

On this clambours the muezzin to make his call to the heavens; is the Lord deaf then?

4:30 A.M my eyes opened and I sat up in my bed. "What the hell? You've got to be kidding me! I am in HELL!"

The loud speakers blared, the gongs went off and long off key chants began, again!

We have been suffering live 24/7 prayers, chanting, music and songs on loud speakers from the local temple for over three weeks now. The village grapevine was that it would end on the 15th of February but it shows no sign of petering off.

The event has brought certain je ne saias quoi to the otherwise drab village. Women are dressed in silk sarees with roses and jasmine flowers strewn in their hair, men sober and clean for a change hang around the temple and kids can be seen running around with prasad in the their little hands.

But there is a Grinch in their midst -'ME'. The garbage truck is no longer allowed to ply on our roads since it would pollute the cleansed environment by the devoted and rigorous efforts of the high priests and silence has become a thing of the past. I have gone crazy since the temple is just five houses from my home. 

The only way I can counter the religious noise is by adding more to the pollution. 

Imagine chants on one side and 50 Cent thumping on the other end on my home theater system. Yeah, blasphemous! But its a free country so you can't sue neither them or me.

Seriously, is god (if there is one) deaf? Who are we trying to impress? Priests with their religious broadcasts or me with my hedonistic hip hop music? East meets home grown desi rebellious western inclinations. 

I plug in my iPod with my bros once the kids are in their beds but since I am maid-less I have to keep a ear out and the music gets all scrambled between the gongs, loud prayers and Justin Timberlake singing- Chop Me Up

Oh yeah! I wanna be chopped up, damn girl I have lost my mind. The Indian flute and drums add to the cacophony and I plead insanity to anyone willing to listen.

I am the butt of everyone's joke. Dee has gone crazy, all she talks about is the noise pollution and curses the priests, the landowner( he is the Mafia) and Indians in general.

By now I should have gained enlightenment if not some peace of mind. Instead I seem to have lost my ability to be normal except when I wait for my son at his bus stop in my hot Alto. The sun beats down hard, I can hardly breath since the time is high noon but there parked on the side of a road away from the religious ruckus I find solace in noise pollution made by vehicles.

It seems I am the only one who is pleading to be the victim of noise pollution. I cannot take it anymore and I have no where to go. Even Gitmo couldn't be this bad. I give in , I confess, now would someone walk across to that temple and tell them to stop pimping their religiosity? 

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This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
-------------------Dorothy Parker, Book Review

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Sins of the father visit the son, ancestral karma call it whatever you want but studies suggest that defected sperms can be passed generations down:

Scientists say fathers who smoke and drink should be aware they are potentially not just damaging themselves, but also their heirs. Tests on rats showed sperm damage caused by exposure to garden chemicals remained up to four generations later.

Ladies, this obviously means the bad boys are out if you wanna make babies or time for some nerdy insemination;)

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As parents we need to be careful about the kind of people we let into our lives. Sometimes its better to be paranoid than to realize later that the much avoidable damage could have been avoided had we not trusted someone. Unfortunately in India child abuse is rarely reported. Though corporal punishment has become unlawful and parents are known to lodge complaints with the authorities when the teachers beat their kids up but rarely do we hear of cases when kids were sexually abused.

Recently I got to know incidents of child abuses that happened in my neighborhood and one in my extended family. I was shocked. I knew the guys since I was a tot and had even been taken over when the incidents happened. Obviously at the time I had been told that they were sick but now the heavy air and tears of the mothers while my mom tried to comfort them make sense. The perpetrators had been male servants.

I am not trying to make blanket statements. Women too are known to prey on children. The point is who do we trust and we don't? And how do we empower our children against such animals?

A friend of mine back in school had been abused by a close relative. I didn't know how to comfort her. I was sworn to secrecy. We were barely fifteen at the time. All I could do was hold her hand while she cried.

Once out of school we all found ourselves suffering the same shit in buses and on streets- molestation and lewd language.

We were young and vulnerable back then and the predators knew we were meek.

Yesterday while driving back home I saw a young girl walking with her head down and shoulders hunched forward. She wanted to disappear it seemed. The pigeon mentality- if I can't see the world can't see. But the world does see and take advantage.

Shit happens even when we try to stop it but we need to listen to our instincts and to our children.

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Never let one man worry your mind. Find 'em, fool 'em and forget 'em.
-------Mae West in I'm No Angel

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I didn't wish you guys Happy V Day. Everyday is a V day for me- Vagina day. No I ain't kidding. We are all Vaginas and Pee Pees. Its one thing knowing we are all walking talking reproductive systems and another to dress it up with flowers, diamonds and Hallmark Cards.

Love is nothing but chemical addiction. Nature's way of fooling us into producing babies and taking care of young ones. Romance is nothing but the epidural to the rude reality of being nothing more specs of dust peculating, producing and dying.

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Past four days I've been in agony. The next door temple owned by the richest village land owner has prayers going on 24/7. Yeah, broadcasted live chants by 20 brahmins and Kannadiga traditional music. Sure, most villagers consider it to be an auspicious act, the cleansing of the village but I'm in fucking pain of the worst sorts.

The voices drone on. The pitches vary, the chants give away to loud obnoxious prayers and speeches. The speeches are so freaking long and loud that I moan and groan around the house, wanting to squeeze my brains out through my ears, gawd I want to be put out of my misery.

Yeah, all i dream of is personal bodily harm. But to the world it doesn't matter one bit. The neighborhood is fine, the family finds my palpitations amusing. But I freaking can't think.

I have no where to go, malls and crowds drive me crazy as it is. Time to blow my brains out!! I have gone BAT SHIT KRAZY!!

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Will Ferrell And Heidi Klum had fun doing the Sports Illustrated's Swimsuit Issue:

Via : Defamer

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Wondermark comic strips are darn funny
View image

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Today I found myself thinking of people who collect animals like material possessions. They buy them, love them for a while, and once weary of the little beings, they are relegated to the furthest corner of the owner's withered self-absorbed hearts.

Taking care of pets comes with enormous responsibilities. In return for their unconditional love, we have to take care of them.

Last October, Ellen DeGeneres cried crocodile tears on her show when her pooch was taken away from her since she had 'gifted' the dog to her hairdresser. Turns out it was merely a bad choice on the lady's part since she could not handle the bundle of energy in her brand new house and she gladly palmed the doggie off to her hairdresser. The traumatized tears were all fake.

Now, we have yet another celebrity accused of neglecting her pets. Gawker gave the entire fiasco a clever headline- Paris Hilton Loses Her Pussy.

Apparently the heiress to the Hilton millions picked up a hapless kitten last May, and basically forgot her cat at the vet's where she had taken him to be neutered. The poor thing was taken back by the Kris Kelly Foundation a week later.

To make matters worse, the kitten according to the Foundation was rarely held or socialized. According to Gawker, there have been allegations that Paris does not take a personal interest in her pets' lives:

"There were unconfirmed reports that all of Paris’ animals, including Prada, were in her Los Angeles home with no one living on the premises for months at a time, save a housekeeper going in to feed the animal."

Animals, like humans, require love and discipline for peaceful cohabitation. While watching the Osbournes on MTV a few years back, I was shocked to see their dogs pooping around on their expensive carpets and furniture, and Sharon griped, but did nothing to stop the pooping activity.

Through the show one could see the genuine love the Osbournes had for their pets but not teaching basic hygienic behavior itself was a form of neglect.

Pets in many ways tend to reflect their owners. Those not toilet trained or those who constantly bark at night, those who cower to a corner or are aggressive (i.e. if its not a characteristic of their breed), those of poor appearance clearly reflect gross negligence on the part of owners.

It is one thing to get all soft hearted in a pet shop but one must think ten times before adopting pets, unlike children who grow up, pets forever remain dependent and need constant care and affection.

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The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale."
-----------------------Arthur C. Clarke

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The only guy who could rule Hell's Kitchen was Gordon Ramsay. He had us spellbound with his evil temper season after season. His foul mouth had people shed tears of blood but recently he displayed his creative thinking by getting 24 chefs to wrap up a thief of a cook in cling film and then made him cook:

Ramsay told Virgin Mobile Bites: "We started noticing that all our recipes were going missing - and there’s a database of 5,500 of them. "We followed him on the CCTV and found out he was sifting all the ideas out of my kitchen. So I stripped him stark b*****k naked and wrapped him in cling-film. "It’s probably the nastiest thing I’ve done. He sweated like a pig. I don’t know why he did it but then it’s pretty hard to talk when you’re being wrapped in cling-film by 25 cooks." He added: "If you’re going to work for a chef, don’t be so ignorant in trying to steal.

Better to sweat it out than face the slammer;)

News via: Freedemocracy.blogspot.com

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I am quite proud about the stuff growing in my garden. Here are a couple of pics
This was the first tiny little mophead that cropped up and greeted the end of winters. More shoots and leafs are sprouting and within a couple of months I am expecting more mopheads.
Lots of sunny Calendula flowers are gracing the pathway leading to the garden.
Sunflower, I think. One of the many that open up to the sun every morning.
Tomatoes growing all over the garden. Nothing like organic veggies.
I've been trying to get rid of this bugger since aeon's but its seems we've been adopted.
My pride and joy. The roses are gorgeous. I have five bushes and they all are finally blooming.

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Disney's Mickey Magic Show at Bangalore would have been a disaster yesterday if had not been for the quick thinking of a Disney organizer. People had bought tickets online and others picked them up from counters at Garuda and Amoeba.

Since the ticketpro site was down, I had to drive all the way to Garuda mall to get tickets for the show on Monday which itself was a pain. Most tickets were sold out, but I managed to get three tickets for us (the show is free for kids under the age of three) and could feel my son's bubbling excitement.

Yesterday evening we were in for a rude shock once we reached the Koromangala Indoor Stadium, the lines to exchange the e-tickets for vouchers were really long. People had been waiting for over 45 minutes. Everyone was grumbling, kids were antsy and the smell of sewage drove us all nuts. It made no sense that there would be such a process when we had printed, certified e-tickets.

The show was about to start and the lines barely moved. Aaman went and spoke to a Disney organizer who too seemed agitated with the Ticketpro and DNA Networks people who were managing the ticketing counters.

To be fair to those guys as well, the e-tickets required some kind of a government stamp, hence the delay but the show had to start on time. The organizer's mind ticked. He told Aaman if people had the stamp of ticketpro they could go in. We had it since we bought the tickets from Ticketpro's booth at the Garuda mall.

We took the lead, and most followed. There was the usual jumble looking for seats, and then within a few minutes the show started. The glitch was taken care of within a matter of minutes which bureaucratic Indian organizers would never have been able to grapple with. The Disney organizer knew the kids' attention span was short, he knew Disney had an image to maintain and the show was so spectacular that most us parents forgave them the initial confusion we went through.

The show is worth the while. The production quality was awesome and though the magic tricks were the classic old fashioned ones but the kids absolutely loved them. Parents were congenial towards each other, no cell phones rang, there were no cameras and I even saw a couple of old couples watching the show.

Its a good thing that the Disney show came to Bangalore. There are many of us who will never get to visit Disneyland, so the much loved Disney characters visited us instead.

Apart from the regular Mickey and his entourage, we met Alice in Wonderland, Princess Jasmine, Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella , Snow White and two goofy guys whose names I couldn't catch over the kiddie squeals and screams.

However one must remember to carry cash. The Disney makeshift store does not accept credit cards and most of us returned to our seats disappointed that we couldn't partake of the goodies of consumerism. Some people grumbled over the prices of treats such as popcorns, ice creams, candies and other things like toys and since they weren't accepting cards, we all ran out of money pretty fast.

Apart from that, I give the show two thumbs up and hope all of you enjoy the show with your tots and make it a day to remember with Mickey, Minne, Goofy, Donald and Daisy.

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So the video of 50 cents telling Paris to get off his stage got pulled. I am freaking mad with myself for not downloading it and mad with google for caving in to any kind of suck ass protest that comes their way.

Here is the deal it wasn't as if 50 Cent had gone ripping mad and told her - GET THE FUCK OFF MY STAGE!!

It was more like- all sexy teeth showing in a gorgeous smile and saying - Get Da Fuck Off My Stage ( so I can sing and not watch your skanky over done ass gyrate all over my floor and maybe later you could squirm in my jacuzzi wearing nothing but my bling bling)

Fair enough?

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Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!!

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When I saw this picture I found myself remembering the physical fights I had with my elder sister as kids. We loved each other, watched each others' backs but fought like stray cats.

Neighborhood fights were also common. We were as ferocious as the boys and knew the only way we could command respect was if we were ruthless in our fights with them. I was the nastiest of them all - the dirty tomboy who was particularly nasty to a little boy called Monty.

I used to pick on him always. Beat him up because I had a big crush on him. I was five back then and he a year older. When his family moved, I felt bad but forgot about him pretty soon.

As years passed, we stopped having physical fights. My elder sister and I verbally lashed out at each other or simply stopped speaking to each other for days on end. Our mixed gang of boys and girls broke.

People moved out, a new crowd came in, studies became paramount and we all hid behind our masks of social shyness. We were civilized teenagers who no longer gamboled around.

Once in a while we got to hear of 'cat fights' in the school loo but those too were rare and only a few 'boy' crazy girls had territorial fights over hapless dudes.

Thats how my life was until I was ten years old and was told that girls don't fight nor do they play with boys. I became a proper lady and reserved towards boys.

A couple of years later, Monty returned. His parents were visiting a neighbor and my mother dragged me over to meet them.

I saw Monty sitting in a room alone. He was a scrawny youth all grown up He was sixteen and I was fifteen. I found myself remembering all the nasty things I had done to him.

I felt embarrassed and didn't go over to talk to him. He didn't know I was looking in on him. He was reading a book. I returned home. We both had grown up, our fights were in the past and we were complete strangers towards each other.

Today, most of us, whether men or women, abhor violence but children tend to shove, punch and bite. Bullying is an