Things That Bang

Kankar pathar jodke masjid layi banaye

Ta chadi mulla bang de Kya bahira hua Khuda.

On this clambours the muezzin to make his call to the heavens; is the Lord deaf then?

4:30 A.M my eyes opened and I sat up in my bed. "What the hell? You've got to be kidding me! I am in HELL!"

The loud speakers blared, the gongs went off and long off key chants began, again!

We have been suffering live 24/7 prayers, chanting, music and songs on loud speakers from the local temple for over three weeks now. The village grapevine was that it would end on the 15th of February but it shows no sign of petering off.

The event has brought certain je ne saias quoi to the otherwise drab village. Women are dressed in silk sarees with roses and jasmine flowers strewn in their hair, men sober and clean for a change hang around the temple and kids can be seen running around with prasad in the their little hands.

But there is a Grinch in their midst -'ME'. The garbage truck is no longer allowed to ply on our roads since it would pollute the cleansed environment by the devoted and rigorous efforts of the high priests and silence has become a thing of the past. I have gone crazy since the temple is just five houses from my home. 

The only way I can counter the religious noise is by adding more to the pollution. 

Imagine chants on one side and 50 Cent thumping on the other end on my home theater system. Yeah, blasphemous! But its a free country so you can't sue neither them or me.

Seriously, is god (if there is one) deaf? Who are we trying to impress? Priests with their religious broadcasts or me with my hedonistic hip hop music? East meets home grown desi rebellious western inclinations. 

I plug in my iPod with my bros once the kids are in their beds but since I am maid-less I have to keep a ear out and the music gets all scrambled between the gongs, loud prayers and Justin Timberlake singing- Chop Me Up

Oh yeah! I wanna be chopped up, damn girl I have lost my mind. The Indian flute and drums add to the cacophony and I plead insanity to anyone willing to listen.

I am the butt of everyone's joke. Dee has gone crazy, all she talks about is the noise pollution and curses the priests, the landowner( he is the Mafia) and Indians in general.

By now I should have gained enlightenment if not some peace of mind. Instead I seem to have lost my ability to be normal except when I wait for my son at his bus stop in my hot Alto. The sun beats down hard, I can hardly breath since the time is high noon but there parked on the side of a road away from the religious ruckus I find solace in noise pollution made by vehicles.

It seems I am the only one who is pleading to be the victim of noise pollution. I cannot take it anymore and I have no where to go. Even Gitmo couldn't be this bad. I give in , I confess, now would someone walk across to that temple and tell them to stop pimping their religiosity?