Things That Bang

When I saw this picture I found myself remembering the physical fights I had with my elder sister as kids. We loved each other, watched each others' backs but fought like stray cats.

Neighborhood fights were also common. We were as ferocious as the boys and knew the only way we could command respect was if we were ruthless in our fights with them. I was the nastiest of them all - the dirty tomboy who was particularly nasty to a little boy called Monty.

I used to pick on him always. Beat him up because I had a big crush on him. I was five back then and he a year older. When his family moved, I felt bad but forgot about him pretty soon.

As years passed, we stopped having physical fights. My elder sister and I verbally lashed out at each other or simply stopped speaking to each other for days on end. Our mixed gang of boys and girls broke.

People moved out, a new crowd came in, studies became paramount and we all hid behind our masks of social shyness. We were civilized teenagers who no longer gamboled around.

Once in a while we got to hear of 'cat fights' in the school loo but those too were rare and only a few 'boy' crazy girls had territorial fights over hapless dudes.

Thats how my life was until I was ten years old and was told that girls don't fight nor do they play with boys. I became a proper lady and reserved towards boys.

A couple of years later, Monty returned. His parents were visiting a neighbor and my mother dragged me over to meet them.

I saw Monty sitting in a room alone. He was a scrawny youth all grown up He was sixteen and I was fifteen. I found myself remembering all the nasty things I had done to him.

I felt embarrassed and didn't go over to talk to him. He didn't know I was looking in on him. He was reading a book. I returned home. We both had grown up, our fights were in the past and we were complete strangers towards each other.

Today, most of us, whether men or women, abhor violence but children tend to shove, punch and bite. Bullying is another problem that kids face. Children can be cruel and often they don't tell adults the kind of violence they face from their peer- its an unspoken code of conduct- either you stand up for yourself or be a part of an alpha person's group and with easy access to parent's guns we have tragedies on our hands.

What we used to settle with our fists and split lips has now taken a dangerous turn. Which is why even though I remember my childhood fighting days with nostalgia I now believe in a zero tolerance policy towards fighting in schools, playgrounds and to keep an eye on kids even on playdates.

Those days when we could sit back and say 'let the kids sort it out' are gone. Now the kids too have to play by adult rules for their own well being.