Things That Bang

As parents we need to be careful about the kind of people we let into our lives. Sometimes its better to be paranoid than to realize later that the much avoidable damage could have been avoided had we not trusted someone. Unfortunately in India child abuse is rarely reported. Though corporal punishment has become unlawful and parents are known to lodge complaints with the authorities when the teachers beat their kids up but rarely do we hear of cases when kids were sexually abused.

Recently I got to know incidents of child abuses that happened in my neighborhood and one in my extended family. I was shocked. I knew the guys since I was a tot and had even been taken over when the incidents happened. Obviously at the time I had been told that they were sick but now the heavy air and tears of the mothers while my mom tried to comfort them make sense. The perpetrators had been male servants.

I am not trying to make blanket statements. Women too are known to prey on children. The point is who do we trust and we don't? And how do we empower our children against such animals?

A friend of mine back in school had been abused by a close relative. I didn't know how to comfort her. I was sworn to secrecy. We were barely fifteen at the time. All I could do was hold her hand while she cried.

Once out of school we all found ourselves suffering the same shit in buses and on streets- molestation and lewd language.

We were young and vulnerable back then and the predators knew we were meek.

Yesterday while driving back home I saw a young girl walking with her head down and shoulders hunched forward. She wanted to disappear it seemed. The pigeon mentality- if I can't see the world can't see. But the world does see and take advantage.

Shit happens even when we try to stop it but we need to listen to our instincts and to our children.