Things That Bang

"I don't watch cricket but I did take notice of the cheerleader thingie."

Thingie? She was a petite creature with sharp features and a complete dud in the brains department. He couldn't imagine marrying her and wondered what Atish thought trying to sync them up.

She was more the 'hook up' type than the 'sync up' type. He smiled at the cheeky thought.

"So what did you think of the cheerleader thingie?" he mimicked her and stressed slightly on the word - thingie.

The emphasis was lost on her. She began her pseudo-feminist tirade against female exhibitionism and he imagined taking off her clothes.

What would it be first? The polka dotted blouse or the diamond loops in her ears? They seemed to be expensive rocks. The rock in his pants lost its budding rigidity at the monetary difference between them. He couldn't maintain a trophy wife; what was the use of imagining her naked?

She was dumb and rich. He was a geek and poor. What was Atish thinking?! He wondered again.

There was an expectant air around her. She had stopped speaking he realized and seemed to have asked him a question which he hadn't heard.

He felt a little sheepish.

"I didn't quite catch the question."

Anger flashed in her eyes. She probably thought he was a dumb ass. He was beginning to enjoy the fiasco of a blind date.

"I asked what kind of clothes do you like women to wear."

He ran a quick eye over her tight short clothes and again imagined taking them off. He liked the tight skirt that showed quite a bit of the creamy legs. He ignored the diamonds- they dampened his spirits.

"I don’t care what women wear. I like them in and out of clothes."

She looked furious. Her finely done eyebrows had somehow trekked all the way up to her forehead, her eyes glared and she seemed to hyper ventilate.

"You are so sexist."

"And you are so-" He didn't finish his sentence and relaxed against the leather cushion covering the booth. It was early evening and the music was still relatively kept low. Thankfully it was happy hours and he could pay for her Margaritas.

"I am so what?" You men are such MCPs and..." He stopped listening to her and found himself staring at her lips. They were full, lusciously painted bright red and he knew where he would put those lips to work on his body.

He shifted a bit on the booth. She was making him uncomfortable for all the wrong reasons.

"I am what I am. I like all types of women- be they- fat, thin, skanky, innocent, dumb, intelligent, hairy, airy, smooth, bumpy. I have no preferences, seriously."

Instead of calming her down his words inflamed her.

"Not only are you a sexist MCP but a jerk as well.” She leaned over and hissed at him.

Her blouse let him have more than a peek at her cleavage and he saw a lacy skin colored bra. He, too was in ‘flames’.

“Why am I a jerk? All I said is that I liked women. What’s wrong in that? Don’t you like men? Or is it women you are into?”

“If I was into women would I be here talking to you?” her volume rose as she tried to be heard over the trance music that had suddenly become louder. The sun had set; the party mood was in the air. He wanted to have a private party with her- sadly enough TGIF didn’t have Champagne rooms.

He pushed her barely tasted Margarita towards her.

“I don’t know what Atish thought setting us up like this.” She worded what he had initially thought.

He sipped his non alcoholic Iced Tea. He knew exactly what Atish had thought. She was so exasperatingly, annoyingly hot that he had to have her.

“What’s your phone number?” he asked abruptly.

“You have got to be kidding me.” She was beyond furious if that was possible and in his mind he was already doing her.

She slid out of her side of the booth and stalked off.

He watched her tight butt that was leaving the bar and speed dialed his best friend Atish.

He spoke into the cellphone

“Dude, I think I'm in love.”