Things That Bang

When it comes down to talking about health woes no one does it better than Indians. I'm currently vacationing at my mom's. Obviously I am bumping into people I've known all my life; I've smiled at them, waved but recently was I made aware by one Auntie's family's problemos.

The fat, congenial,'could have been pretty if she lost some weight' lady walked across the road to meet my mom, my brood and me. After the usual greetings she began to relate in exquisite details her trials and tribulations with herpes and the her sons' afflictions.

Auntie ji: It started from my forehead, down to my eyes. Very painful I tell you but it could have been worse but I had medication.

Me thinking: Herpes?! (I shuddered)

Auntie ji: And then my two sons - grown men got chicken pox!! Probably from me, herpes - chicken pox same thing, na?

Me thinking: Er...no!! Get away from me you fat cow!!

Auntie ji: My older son looks very ugly but his wife is okay with it. The scabs were all over his face. Big, big ones.

Me thinking: Grooooaannnn.

Auntie ji: He was supposed to go to Dubia but because of the scabs they will turn him back from the airport.

Me thinking: You mean the dude is till infectious?! What the hell are you herpes ridden babe doing talking to us?

Auntieji: Beta, why don't you come over?

Me saying: Er...maybe later Auntieji when you get your house fumigated!!

Auntieji: Oh! you are funny as ever. Isn't she Veenaji?

My mom smiles painfully. I know what she is thinking- HERPES.....Get The Hell AWAY FROM MY Family!!