Things That Bang

Big seems to be in. Whether it be the bumble bee shades or the tent like tops with tights people have now gone crazy looking their worst.

It is my personal perception of course, others who love wearing polka dotted sack clothes are welcome to disagree with me. But to expect me to be part of the herd and wear such clothes or look like a female mobster in big dark glasses is just not going to happen.

As it is after buying a shit expensive Da Milano bag I lost my mind looking for the house keys in a bag bigger than a black hole. But thanks to the trend of big bags and me being putty when it comes to shoes and bags I fell victim and spent five minutes outside the house looking for the keys and throwing all the contents of the bags on the bed to get to the cell phone later on.

In the end I found myself reverting to my old functional bag where things didn't hide in unchartered leathered territories.

Even Indian clothes have become jazzy with loud embroidery and flashy rhinestones.

The eighties seem to have returned and even though some of these clothes look nice on mannequins I look absurd in them. In Western outfits I look all boobs and legs and in Indian jazzy clothes I look like a bling bling Bhapi Lahari. Okay, the Bhapi Lahri part was taking it too far but you get what I mean- there is just too much bling in the sarees and don't get me started on the designs on some of the saree blouses.

Even men's formal Indian clothes have gone metro sexual with loud embroidery. Some shirts are transparent and show the male nipples!! Those, of course, as I had been told by a huffy boutique owner are for Western-cum Indian occasions- whatever that meant.

I wanted to tell her that it would be disconcerting for me to stare at some strange male nipples at a party but adhered back to my old mantra of keeping my trap shut.

When it comes to shoes, things have changed as well but having small feet I've always gone in for Flashy shoes and fell in love with a pair of high heeled fiery red shoes though they hurt like crazy.

Thankfully block heels continue to be the rage. They are comfortable, make the woman feel on top of the world and I absolutely love the animal prints on them.

But that is where my being fashion conscious stops. No Empire waist clothes for me or plastic bangles, massive belts or tights over my chubby thighs. I am strictly a jeans and t-shirt girl and if I am considered to be dowdy- so be it.