Things That Bang

Why do women pee on the floors in the washrooms of upmarket malls? Recently I was re-aquainted with this nauseating phenomena in the Ladies washroom next to the food court area in Oasis and then again at the washroom of Reliance Footprint in Indranagar.

Unlike men who are generally sure short aimers and don't deliberately spray at will, women continue to indulge in uncivilized peeing.

They can hover like a saucer over the commode. Thats what we were taught back in the eighties era when clean public toilets were rare phenomenas. It was either the bushes with a mother or an aunt keeping guard when traveling the countryside or pot hovering in dirty stop over restaurants.

One thing was for sure- we girls were brought up to flush both in public and home loos. After use- flush! My mom could be heard hollering from the living room.

When guests with nasty toilet habits visited us we were forever on the cleaning rampage. Whether the guests realized that we were always on the red alert after they used the loo was never aired but I did take my male cousins to task for not putting the seat up a couple of times and we girls landed up hovering over our own pots despite the vehement disinfecting.

Living in a predominately female household we were used to dry floors and dry toilet seats. Visiting public loos was to be avoided as far as possible. We always visited the loo before venturing out. It was a cardinal rule to avoid stinky urine wet public loos.

The only place we went let our guard down was at the PVR Complex. We could drink lots of Coke while watching the movies knowing the loos would be spotless- which they always were and still are. 

In some places things have changed. The Forum public loos are very clean, women flush, seats are dry and rarely would one find a strange turd merely swimming in the commode.

But the loos in rest of the malls in Bangalore are absolute nightmares! The less said the better.

Obviously I couldn't use the Food Court's Loo in Oasis where the pee fest is always on but used the one below on the second floor of Lifestyle which is generally spotless and stink-less.

Most upmarket restaurants have clean loos but there too once in a while one suffers rude shock. Nicely done up loos but the visual image of hazardous wastes would destroy all desire to order a good meal.

Why are Indian women so dirty? Don't they realize that when they pee on floors they step on their own pee? That the chances of their clothes getting wet by their own bodily wastes is quite high? Or is it that they just don't care?

I've seen women in sarees peeing on the floors and telling their daughters- Don't sit on the toilet seat. Pee on the floor.

And it has always taken a whole lot of effort on my part to calm the animal in me down and not beat such women to pulp!

Once I was pretty vocal in my protests. But in typical Indian traditions I didn't directly tell the perpetrator off but said it out to the attendee nearby- Dirty women - they have the money but lack basic manners. Like 'kutties' (bitches) they pee all over the floor, they don't flush and best part is they don't even wash their hands. And then they feed their kids in the Food Courts with the same hands."

The woman in question who I had seen squatting along with her little tot in the next cubicle hurried out. Leaving me feeling still mad.

Personally, I think we should have the right to make citizen arrests on such women. Or better still have the right to slap them silly. Fines won't do the trick but a good thrashing would surely deter them.

I know it is not ever going to happen, nor would public bare bummed spanking be allowed- we are after all a civilized society.

But doesn't barbaric behavior deserve an equally brutal punishment? Why in the name of sweet Mary should I find myself inadvertently stepping on someone's pee or find someone's turd in my face?

Don't I and other civilized females of this country have the right to clean public loos? How can we tackle this sort of deviant behavior?