Things That Bang

After the Mini-me sex tape fiasco starring Verne Troyer there is a whiff of a Madonna sex tape. Why do people, especially celebrities, make tapes of themselves having sex? In my mind its as weird as recording one's genitalia.

Sex is a private act. We talk about it but to record it seems way out there. What do people do with these tapes? Sit back and watch them on their home theater systems and say - hey I could have humped you better? Or For the next video we must try the 69 position?

There have been so many sex videos and most have been worse than the regular porno videos like the one with bits of Paris Hilton showing after her simpering - I want you to touch me there

Fact is real life sex does not look like porno tapes.

There is no glossy production quality or retakes; its just two people having regular sex and watching two regular people doing it without the artificial fluff makes it tardy.

It feels good to those doing the act but to the audience its like an illegal National Geographic porno moment and the tape is then dissected. Which was why Verne Troyer fought tooth and nail to stop the distribution of his sex video tape and Paris Hilton was emotional wrought when her tape leaked.

With the regular leaking of sex tapes one would think it would deter celebs from making them but I guess having glass ceilings just doesn't do it for them any more. They want to be the 'star' of the orgasmic moment.

It is some kind of narcissism to make these tapes and save them for posterity? 

Do people then re-play the tapes? Do they save them along with their marriage tapes?

When they break up do they return the tapes and swear the returned tapes were original copies? 

Do they have any pre-nup agreements about these tapes?

These questions need answers, maybe they are answered. The world of celebrities is way different from ours. It's what fantasies are made of, the only problem is when their world and ours collide they tend to burn and we enjoy the fireworks;)