Things That Bang

“I am a man’s man!” He complained.

She gave a mischievous smile and swatted his skinny bare butt. “Don’t I know it honey? But it was a deal, right? C’mon, sweets it’s just me. Let’s have some fun.”

“Aradhana I really can’t do this.” He pleaded and looked into her twinkling light brown eyes. But she wasn’t letting him go. She eyeballed his naked frame and held out her flimsy lacy blue underwire bra.

“Wear it!” she ordered.

The bra looked fragile in his clumsy square fingers and his eyes rolled towards the ceiling.

“I – I can’t” he muttered “I don’t know what to do with it!”

She got up from their untidy bed where Victoria Secret lingerie bags were strewn around.

“What do you mean you don’t know what to do with it?” she put a hand on her slim waist and raised a questioning eyebrow at her one week old husband.

“You know exactly what to do with it. You’ve been taking bras off me even before we got married. Don’t be such a woos! Let me help you put it on. “

She slid her bra over his chest and clasped the hook at the back.

“Aaoow!” he cried ‘The wires hurt!”

Aradhana muffled her laughter. He looked funny with just the bra on.

She bent back towards the bags and pulled out a matching G-string underwear. She removed the price tag

“Now this is your size. I love you but I draw a line when it comes to underwear.” She held it forward and he took a step back. His masculinity protested.

“I seriously cannot”

She moved forward and threatened him “You want me to help you with it?”

He held up his hands “No! No I will wear it.”

He slid his Daddy Long legs through the flimsy cloth and complained once more “Shit! The damn thing is giving me a wedgie!”

Aradhana raised her eyebrows in mock surprise “Really? I didn’t know it did that.”

“Aradhana, you made your point. Let me go!” He pleaded

“Till the bitter end you promised Sudhir. Here, wear the garter belt. You picked it remember?”

He glared at his bride and pulled up the garter belt and she couldn’t hold her laughter back.

She handed him the silk stockings “Wear them and attach them to the clips of the garter belt.”

“The garter belt is way too tight.” He whined yet again.

“Let me.” She stood close to him and began to attach the pulled up stockings to the clasps. She drank in the smell of his cologne and held back the urge to kiss him. The game had to be played out. He needed to know.

“And now for the corset that gives women like me the cleavage and tiny waists that you so like.”

She pulled out a satin black corset with a tiny red ribbon in the middle.

“Nice isn’t it?” she wriggled her eyebrows at him.

He shook his head and again took a few steps back and bumped into a chair.

“Aww baby don’t be scared. The corset won’t bite you.” She covered the distance between them and held it up.

“Go on” she urged him “Over your head and down to your lean mean sex machine waist.”

He pulled it down and let her tighten the laces at the back. She tightened it to ensure he was breathless
“Too tight!” he cried.

“What’s too tight, honey?” she asked innocently and stepped back to see her husband in the lingerie she had let him pick for her on the condition that he would wear it once before she did.

“All of it! Lemme out of it! Now!” he tugged at the corset, and then tried to unwedgie his butt through the stockings and scratched his itching legs.

She sat back on the hotel chair, folded one leg over another and enjoyed his discomfort.

“Darling you have to walk around the room for two minutes before you can take it all off, remember? So let’s get the show started.”

He glared at her and she stared back at him. Minutes passed between them each wanting the other to back down and suddenly he gave her a rakish grin and began to prance around the room. He struck poses for her like men with sculpted bodies did at competitions.

The bra and the corset were pushed forward in unnatural positions as he brought his arms forward to show his lean pec and arm muscles. He turned sideways and held his arm up to show his biceps and triceps and then sent his wife into peals of hysterical laughter by turning his back towards her and did the sit ups.

He clenched and unclenched his lace suffering butt and the clasps of the garter belt threatened to snap.

Sudhir seemed to tap into his wild side and did a few ballerina steps as well. Tears of laughter streamed down

Aradhana’s face and she huffed between breaths “Stop! Please for heaven’s sake I cannot take it anymore.”

She covered her face with her fading hyena coloured hands.

Sudhir came over, kneeled down near her, removed her hands and looked into her twinkling eyes and asked gently “Had enough? Did I win the bet?”

She nodded and whispered “ Fine! You wore the lingerie and won the bet. I’ll wear whatever you want me to as well.” He grinned and tipped her face up to his “Anything?”

She nodded.

As he reached behind him to unclasp the bra hook he said “Wear those spiky red heels to bed.”

Aradhana took the heels out of their designer bag. “These? That’s cheating!”

“How so?” he took off the G-string and sighed with relief

“But ...but! We didn’t get these in your size!”

Sudhir yanked the garter off with the stockings and replied with a naughty smile “We? Honey, would you seriously have asked Feragamos of my size? You forgot and that’s your loss. Now c’mon heels and nothing else.”

Aradhana grumbled as she took off her clothes and slipped into heels that immediately had her knees complain.

“I’ve been had.” She complained and watched her husband slip back under the sheets and pat her side.

“Not yet honey! Come to bed.”

And as she gingerly slid in with the heels he asked “So tell me again babes who won in the end?”

She sucked in a breath as his hands trekked her body “You did.”

And as he slid into her he muttered “And don’t you forget it.”

Aradhana wrapped her heel covered legs around his waist and replied “Until next time sweetie. I will get you; just you wait.”