Things That Bang

Cooking For Family

Sunday lunches are supposed to be grand affairs, at least in the Punjabi household. When we were kids, my mom used to make special food for us, starting from breakfast till dinner time. I remember getting up at 7:30 to study while mom cooked and then we'd sit down with our breakfast to watch Star Trek. Even at the age of six I found Captain Kirk to be a hottie and I'd keep my eyes trained on him while wolfing down Aloo Tikkies stuffed with peas and thin carrots, along with fresh juice. Come lunch time, the food used to either be Maa ki Dal or Rajma Chawal. Depending upon the season, we got carrot juice, mango shake, or Lassi. There were always at least two side vegetable dishes and salad. After lunch, my dad used to have his habitual afternoon siesta and mom would have her afternoon tea with my grandmother. During evenings we would be fed again - milk and either Fryums or Pakoras. It was a marvel that we three girls remained skinny despite the food we were fed. Then again there was no concept of processed food nor were sodas encouraged in our house. Dinner was another grand affair though ma firmly believes that rice should not be had at night. So generally we had Chappaties, fresh sabzis and dal. On school days we never got the same tiffin twice. My mother firmly believed in feeding her family right and as we girls grew up, she gently tried to cajole us to take interest in cooking but we continued to give passive-aggressive responses- Cooking? Making the dough? Definitely tomorrow, mom! She never insisted for she knew once we were married and had kids we'd be chained to the kitchen as well. In her own words, she said that we women could rise to the highest pinnacles of our careers but the kitchen couldn't be avoided. Its been eight years to my marriage and I find myself chained to the kitchen and not half a good cook as my mom. I still call her up long distance to ask her for recipes and her words would be the same- Why didn't you learn to cook when I asked you to? Cooking my mom's recipes are simple and yet not the usual where one throws in the spices, fries the onions and then the tomatoes to make the masala and then the vegetables. There are variations - some subzis require the combination of garlic and ginger, some just either of them and some require cumin seeds, or coriander seeds or Ajwain seeds. Then again some require onions after the vegetables were put in and some with or without tomatoes or onions. Even after following her recipes sometimes the result was not the same and I would again call her up and be told- you put too much tomatoes or too much onion. I would start grumbling as to why my food never tastes as good as my mom's. The answer however is always clear. I don't express love in the food I cook. I cook because I have hungry mouths to feed. My mom, on the other hand, cooks because she takes pride feeding her loved ones. She thinks in terms of nutrition and I think in terms of an extra dish causing me to slave over the stove some more. People who know my mom admire her not only for her gentle nature but for her culinary talents. While I was visiting my phufarji he remarked that my mom's food is the best he has eaten. There was always a good spread, no matter how many family members sat at her table. Even now, when people either come over for lunch or dinner my mom before leaving for her college (she is a professor) gets up at 4 in the morning to cook. My mom does not believe in eating out. Her mantra is simple- one does not gain weight with home food and she encourages me to be more proactive in the kitchen and not take the easy way out my eating out and wants me to pack tiffin for Aaman. The thought of packing a tiffin for Aaman complete with salad and butter milk makes me groan but that's what my mom used to do for my dad, come hail or sunshine. Since Aaman and I decided to eat out less, I've been finding myself in the kitchen more often and I've lost my passion for cooking but my mom in her gentle ways reminds me that the health of my family lies in my hands and nutrition has to go with taste or else kids won't eat the food. So, nowadays I find myself making daily menus and though I'm finally falling into the rhythm of daily cooking I don't think I can ever make it a habit to have a daily lavish spread. Maybe its a generation thing or maybe its just me.