Things That Bang

I rescued a toad from a hovel and gave him a villa instead. The hovel was a little garden pot with an inch of water in it and the villa was my lily pond. I gently picked up the pot that lay on the driveway and slid him out of the pot into the lily pond.

Feeling I had done my bit for mother earth I was about to walk away when he croaked- "Ribbit"

I turned back to look at him and gave his scaly face a benevolent smile “You're welcome.”

“Ribbit!” he croaked again

“You're a talkative one.” I spoke to him again and he stepped on a lily leaf and looked at me. I stared back at him. This was a definite Syfy moment. His scaly head bobbed a little as if he was checking me out and he spoke "I like what I see!"

I gasped and looked around wildly "Did you just speak to me?"

He stuck his tongue out to catch a passing dragonfly and missed.

"Why? Do you think you are the only one who can speak in English?"

I remained quiet and stared at him.

"Speak woman! no, you aren't crazy. We can speak. Ask your temporal. His Nawwab talks to him all the time."

"Er.....you are on Desicritics.org?" I spoke up and then pinched myself hard on my arm.

"Actually no! I visit his site baithak quite often. We poets like to keep an eye on each other."

"Really? And what were you doing in my flower pot?"

"I was in a Jacuzzi and you threw me into a swimming pool."

"Lily pond" I corrected him.

He carefully moved on to a fatter leaf and croaked "Does it matter? Anyway you did me a good turn now I want to return the favour. "

I shook my head "No its okay. Not required. I ...er...need to go back in."

"No wait! I was thinking - maybe you can marry me?"

"What?!" I gaped. The toad was barely bigger than my hand

"I can't marry you!" I shook my head at him.

"Why? I'm well settled. I can speak English with a neutral accent. I like reading your hot stories and kind of like your kids too."

I glared at the toad and spoke "I'm sure I am losing my mind here."

He made a sound somewhere between a laugh and a croak and I shuddered "No, you're not woman. We could bump off your husband, take his millions and visit this sadhu who will turn me into a handsome young man and help you get that twenty year old body again and we'll be happy"

"You are an evil reptile" I gasped

"Evil? No! An opportunist? Probably! So what do you say?"

"No!" I shouted then tried to calm my nerves. I spoke again "No! I'm not interested."

"You aren't huh? But lady you have no choice. I will make sure that you will be mine."

That fat toad looked sinister and the world suddenly seemed to close around me and I couldn't breath.

I spread my hands out and shouted "Leave me alone."

"Never!" he croaked and lunged towards me. I turned and ran out of the garden towards the driveway.

He followed croaking my name and I imagined his wet slimy body somehow hanging against my jeans legs. I ran towards the driveway and saw the part timer open the main gates.

She stared at me in surprise as I ran towards the porch.

Aaman's car took a sharp curve through the iron gates, into the driveway and I watched the jumping toad squelch under the front tire in a matter of few seconds.

I pushed back a scream and tried to compose myself- a talking toad killed under my husband's car. This wasn't murder Dee. I told myself. So what if he was a talking toad. He was just a toad.

Aaman opened the door of the car "Hi babe what's up?" he asked holding his Blackberry next to his ear.

"Er..nothing." I gave him a weak smile and let him pass inside the house.

I stared at the front tires of his car, took a deep breath and followed him in. My toad saving days had come to a quiet squishy end.