Things That Bang

Half Brained, My Novel Going For Free

Sat, 17 Dec 2011 23:19:27 +0530

Half Brained - a Zombie Romance, my first novel is currently free on Amazon.com, 300 copies sold. Get it while you can.

Rumsfeld and Battle: LA

Sat, 26 Feb 2011 22:15:46 +0530

Is Donald Rumsfeld a lizard who eats human flesh? David Icke didn't ask the question but Louis C.K did.
Rumsfeld didn't deny it instead he spoke about someone paying for his food in NY... hmmm...maybe 'they' aren't allowed to deny their shape shifting identities.

Sony insistsaliens have always been amongst us and they aren't the first to tout such information. There are enough 'believable' youtube videos showing anal probes (yah, back to probing the area from where all the BS spills, fresh and hot)

The truth is not there. The truth is mired in book promotions or movie trailers.

One Day I Will Get You For This!

Sat, 26 Feb 2011 18:23:46 +0530

Loco Puss Shakes Her Booty Again!

Fri, 25 Feb 2011 14:17:31 +0530

Its been a while since I laid bits of me on swingingpuss. My facebook account bares the title -swingingpuss author but my blog died. Time to revive it? Yes?

A sneaky feeling tells me that I'm not in anyone's feed any more, well, no one noteworthy. Yeah, I'm yanking your chain. Of course, you are important, very, very important- -yeah, important in your delusional mind;P

Alright! no more shitting around. The puss has been resurrected but there's been a slight glitch. The puss now believes in zombies, vampires, angels, demons, throw in some pixies, comatose witches who mind control dinosaurs living in parallel realities and did I mention aliens that anally probe us? :D

Loco swingingpuss doesn't care much for the mundane world except for watching the news for old fogies being dethroned by twitter, facebook users and those who add to global warming smoking hookahs. The puss leaves her carbon footprint burning candles and learning earth magic.

The kitty is kind of a Budddhist New Age nutso who loves to scratch till humans bleed and talk to garden fairies and ..and are you still there? The kitty still likes hot stuff from the past so she will continue to throw in some spicy stuff on her blog and forget to put NSFW and have you click down the window and call her stupid cunt;P

So, if you are there the puss will swing her booty on her site and make it worth your while.

Carl Jung Personality Test

Sun, 05 Dec 2010 10:21:20 +0530

INTP - "Architect". Greatest precision in thought and language. Can readily discern contradictions and inconsistencies. The world exists primarily to be understood. 3.3% of total population.

Free Jung Personality Test (similar to Myers-Briggs/MBTI)

Fiction: Bits Of You

Fri, 22 Oct 2010 22:41:14 +0530

Dug up an old tale of mine. Hope you like it

It’s a crazy kind of a love. I want to eat you,with you. Celebrate your flesh with you, piece by piece. Die along with you- watch you die as you eat what lives within. Insanity reigns supreme. Our love lives on forever in me, burning and coursing through my veins. In your dying breath I dream of endless eternity- the memories of us sitting together eating the last supper of the ending season. You smile weakly; blood, the color of ripe tomatoes, spills from your cup. Your blood and my thirst mingle in divine copulation. Time stands still as you bow your head and tell me you aren’t all there, bits of you are missing.

I smile and tell you – they are our bits and pieces like the love floating in the air. You sigh and tell me you are dying and it isn’t cool to die on the first date. I smile and offer you dinner . I serve you the main entrée Penis in Massaman curry. Thai – you say as you taste and gentle lay your head down on the table and die.

Another supper finished alone. I pick the newspaper next to me and circle the ad – wanted a partner to enjoy the flesh of Christ with.

No Alimony For Keeps

Fri, 22 Oct 2010 21:24:26 +0530

No alimony for the keep. Knee jerk reaction- the other woman should not get a dime. She has it coming. The home breaker, the mooch who is nothing more than a sex slave, trading her flesh for the pennies he throws her way. She suffers the ire of his family, the ire of society and the ire of the laws of the land. Why does she still go on living with a man who would never give her his name? Could it be financial security or something as simple as being in love with the man?

If only things were that simple. Black and white. The shades of grey swept under the chauvinistic judgement of our male courts. It takes two to tango. She maybe his keep but there is a long standing price to be paid if he enjoys her flesh regularly. She is a slipper worn and thrown. Never to be remembered. And like the wife she too suffers through the ride.

Who knows, relationships are so complex. I withhold my judgement in this matter. Concubine, keep, trophy wife, boy toy are all just labels that define vistas of complexity.

Speed Charcoal Drawing

Fri, 22 Oct 2010 01:22:14 +0530

Breathtaking work

Youtube : 2 point perspective

Thu, 21 Oct 2010 23:26:45 +0530

Storm Clouds

Thu, 21 Oct 2010 23:14:52 +0530

For My Younger Sister

Thu, 21 Oct 2010 22:11:04 +0530

You say you love me and I say bye. Nah, its not lack of love that makes me shuffle away from the declaration. Its the close proximity of knowing you all my life that causes the embarrassment. Its the blood bond that denies words but makes up with deeds. You are my younger sister. Someone I have fought with and hurt physically as a kid and then with violent words as a grown up and yet we stand together against the eddies of raw living.

Three of us are together bonded by blood. Mom, you and our elder sister. A ring of sadness surrounds us for we miss the man who left us when the world was still unfolding for us. We miss him once again as you reach a pivotal change in your life. We wish he was there to meet the man in your life, the man in my life. Together we reminisce and nurture the bond of sisterhood. I do love you little sister but the words felt in the heart find it hard to spill from the lips.

May you have a beautiful marriage and be loved and cherished all your life.

The Graveyard

Thu, 21 Oct 2010 21:38:03 +0530

The graveyard of our relationship blossoms with grace and forgiveness. Moments of strife are blessed with past memories of happiness. Forgiveness balms the torn souls and bids them dissolution. The heart lays flowers over the silent headstone and still tries to resurrect the sublime. Fingers dig deep in the weeded grave but tears no longer flow. Its time to bid adieu and to let go. Let the healing begin with the love offered daily by those living alongside.

Stray Soul Demands

Thu, 21 Oct 2010 21:17:25 +0530

Dreams cascade around me like falling glass that make no noise. Bits of me float from the subconscious terrain to remind me of lives lived in unfathomable wilderness. The storm threatens the organic cage that houses my being and bellows deluge as I squelch the demand to be primeval. There will be no holding back. These are soul leaks demanding liberation.

Fiction: Little Lizard

Fri, 08 Oct 2010 19:41:23 +0530

She pushed down the insect repellent knob and poison showered on the gecko. The reptile scuttled across the floor and she stalked the creature with the 'kill them good' tin can. The lizard tried to climb the wall but the cruel female wasn't yet done with her victim. She was on wanton Rambo roll till the little gecko flipped over on its thin umber belly and died.

"Score!" she shouted and did a little tribal dance near the carcass. The lizard's paw flickered and she pressed the killer mechanism once more till it fizzled out of juice. "That should do it."

She bent down and stared at the dead reptile. It looked vulnerable with its mouth gaping and its four limbs tossed upwards in surrender. Her heart felt a little spasm. She cocked her head and wondered whether it was regret but then decided it was just gas.

"No more midnight chuk..chuking in my room." she told the dead lizard. "Trespassers aren't allowed." The lizard didn't protest.

She fetched a day old newspaper, wrapped the lizard in it and threw it over the window into the garden. She promised herself that come morning she would throw it in the trash can before the truck came.

Night fell and she lay down in her bed. The empty insect repellent lay in the dust bin. Her eyes flickered close and her unconscious mind began to churn out dreams.

The gecko flipped back on its nimble feet. The poison drugged the gecko and gave it Technicolor dreams. It dreamed of Buddha, the Hindu Trinity and even Jesus who gently asked it to rise from its temporary paper grave.

Still woozy from the noxious fumes it climbed the outer wall of her bedroom. Through the open window it clambered back in. Its long tongue hung on the side of its pointy mouth.

"Chuk!" it said but Moses shushed him

"No!" he whispered to the little creature "Don't wake that Nazi bitch!"

"She'll gas your ass!" said Hell Boy.

The lizard shook its head as if agreement. Moses and Hell Boy nodded back sagely and disappeared.

Ganesha's mushka guided the lizard up the wall. Up it went , all the way to the ceiling and through its devil black eyes it looked down at the sleeping human.

"Dive!" commanded the dead Kamikaze pilot. The lizard swooned with nirvana and let go.

Down it fell. All the way till it landed deftly on the face of Sleeping Beauty. It's webbed feet dug deep in a long crescent mark from her forehead to her chin.

She woke up screaming, touched the hurting skin and ran to the check her face in the bathroom mirror. In the glare of the orange light she saw the ballooning mark. She howled and rushed back to her room.

"I killed you!" she bellowed. But there was no sign of the lizard. She searched under the covers, under the bed, under her dressing table. She stared at the four walls of her room and screamed some more.

She ran out of her house barefoot, towards the backyard where the newspaper lay. She shrugged it open and on the moist green grass fell the dead body of the little lizard.

Where Are The Feel Good Female Magazines?

Mon, 20 Sep 2010 23:06:00 +0530

A couple of days ago I flipped through the recent issue of Femina and found myself at sea. There was too much information about too many things. Too much of what makes a complete woman - there was the usual article on make up, stuff about fat women (oops, I mean us curvy babes), scrawny models, women who've become sarpanchs, women who have overcome maladies of life like broken hearts, depression, suicide. You name it and the magazine had it all packed in with a torrent of information that overloaded the senses.

I should have been glad they didn't talk about the five best tips of bedding a man or how not to puke on your first date's BMW's leather seats or how to break the news to your mom that your best friend is your butch partner.

But thats exactly what Indian women are all about. We are still spreading our wings both in terms of understanding our sexuality, our need to exorcise ghosts of past and more so our perpectual need to be act as rebels without a cause. We crave freedom in magazines.

We want to read about some hot clubbing spots along with information about good au pair services for mommies who crave night life and more. We crave good political commentary or maybe we just want to see Rahul Gandhi or Omar Abdullah centerfolds wearing nothing more than their legendary pouts.

Most of us don't need a magazine telling us about what we are achieving in our daily hum drum living. We know it because we live it but we need something light, funky, happening and ageless, a feel good kind of a magazine that is all about female empowerment ( yes, kudos to the lady sarpanch and she is a hottie to look at on that stallion) but its also about achieving that extra zing in our lives that we day dream about. For some it could be a female trek through the rain forests, for another awesome pani puri at the local chaat shop or just how to achieve nirvana through the 24th Tantric position.

I haven't come across such a feel good female hedonistic magazine.